The Dangers of Courtship

Courtship, what a wonderful cure-all for the single Christian that doesn't want to date or pursue a girl the worldly way. Who doesn't want to be like the Ludy's? A story like theirs, one that seems so special and inspiring, truly is amazing. Courtship can be most inspiring, or most depressing. Courtship, like everything else in life, will not work all the time in all cases. It is highly dependent on the people involved in the courtship. Courtship is not for everyone.

The dangers of courtship starts with the basic mindset that each person has before going into courtship. Too often the young man and young woman have the mindset that their life purpose is to prepare for marriage. I've seen it, we all have seen it. This mindset is very wrong. Our purpose is to be serving God. Marriage is not the Christian's purpose!

If our young people are focused on marriage, almost always a courtship will fail. What is courtship? Courtship was started waaay back in the day when people didn't have guns, and women wore poofy dresses and were always chaperoned and young men were reckless and fought each other for no good reason. You can research it, it was started by the gentry as a way to give their daughters away to the most qualified man. Courtship is never mentioned in the Bible, and it isn't the "bibical" way to find a wife.

One of the facts of courtship is parent involvement. Parent involvement is critical to a successful relationship, especially one that you want to end in marriage. I wish that I had given my parents the room to freely give me their advice. However, courtship when combined with controlling parents or the dangerous heresies of Patriarchal beliefs is bad all around. Contrary to some loud opinions, the father is not the mediator between God and his grown children. If the young people need their father to see God's will, then they have no business trying to get married.

Another problem with courtship is the "perfect" courtship. Hate to break it to ya dads and daughters, but the young man that is interested in your daughter isn't going to be one of Horatio Algers little perfect guys. He will have been exposed to filth, and you better hope that he's been through some trials and that he has had his faith tested. If you expect the future husband to never have noticed girls, or never to have lusted, then better wait for Jesus to come back and wed his bride, the church. Jesus is the only perfect man. I don't expect my future wife to be perfect, and if she says she is, then I'm running fast. I don't want to marry a liar or someone that naive.
In the lines of the perfect courtship is the mindset that the perfect courtship will end in marriage. See, courtship is about finding out if it works, and if the young people are compatible. A successful courtship doesn't always end in marriage. The mindset that courtship is always towards marriage can end with disastrous results. Courtship is not the structured way to fall in love. Courtship is just another man made way to find a wife in a safer manner. If the young people involved allow themselves to blindly fall in love in any relationship, courting, or dating, well I need not to speak of the results.

All in and throughout.. our focus needs to be on God, not man, not a woman. See, God created us with a major hole in our hearts. It is a God shaped hole, but when we, I, or you, try to fill God's hole with someone else, or something else, it's going to end with heartbreak and a bigger hole. God needs to be the focus of our life.

What is the ideal way to find a mate? Dating as we know it.. well not the best idea. Courtship isn't the answer either, but it's better than dating. Is there any certain answer? is there a certain way to find a wife? What about 37 steps to a Godly mate? My friends, there is no certain way. There is no answer found in man, it's kinda like salvation, there is only an answer in God.

There are some things that are needed, of us, for a courtship to not be so dangerous. Wisdom is needed, parental wisdom needs to be included in the relationship. Discretion, forgiveness, many character qualities are needed to have a successful and safe courtship that might end in marriage. Courtship is not the magic blender in which you throw two individuals and end up with a picture perfect marriage!

I'd appreciate any comments, lol I'm human too, and as you can probably tell, I've had some courtship issues. :P

Oh btw, the reason courtships are doomed for failure with controlling parents is because the balancing factor in controlling courtships in the olden days is gone. And the balancing factor is dueling. :D

My audience with the Captain

I walk into the massive warmly lit hall. I walk past the many faithful in their armor so bright and shining. I see His elect garbed in their best, each wearing their medals. Yet among the elect and those I respect I see the glares and the hateful glances from those who claim to serve Him and I stride on anyways, wearing my battered and stained armor as I would the brightest medals I have been given by my Captain.
I stand at attention before my Captain as He addresses me.
"Why do you act the way you do? Why are you rebellious and bitter?"

The whole court gathers, both the elect and the hypocrites; the elect do not judge, but I can feel the condemning stares of the self righteous. I do not give an answer, I just act. I strip off my battle-worn armor standing naked to the waist.

"My Captain, how many scars are on my chest from YOUR enemies? I have fought FOR YOU, and I have fought hard with what I have, and I've never given up."

He waits in silence as I continue, bitterness and anger flowing from my lips. I turn around showing my back to all. My back is covered in scars, some of the wounds are fresh, some are swollen and red, inflamed with infection. My back looks as if I was whipped and cut and abused. One of the elect, one who I admire, asks the question that I need.

"Where did you get these?"

I look at my Captain and speak with vehemence. "When I was fighting for YOU, YOUR servants, those who claim YOUR name did this to me. They have hurt me with their words, with their actions, and with the things they did not do. Then after they wounded me, they left me on the field with only my foes." I say with regret.. "and I've been losing Your battles."

He speaks, not judging me, or condemning my one time friends, but asking me a simple question. "Have I ever forsaken you? Have I wounded you?"

I stand abashed as He continues, "My son, I did not call you here to condemn or to judge, but to heal. Do you want My touch?"

Ashamed, I nod my head, too abashed to answer. "You must let go of all your pain, your bitterness, and your anger."

I don't want to let go, it's all I have to hold onto sometimes. But I realize that my bitterness really makes it hard for me to be with the elect. I do want to let go.. my wounds, my scars they hinder me and they hurt every time I move. I didn't have to say anything, for He knew my thoughts.
With one touch He healed me of my pain. I heard one of the elect gasp. I turned and something felt free. I twisted and turned and I knew, my mat of scars was gone. But a sharp spasm sent me to my knees.

"Do you want me to heal this too?" His very touch sent a rack of pain through my back.

"But Lord, this was from Her! I loved her so much, I didn't do wrong to her, I just wasn't good enough. I loved her anyways. I didn't speak evil of her, but her parents who claimed YOUR name hurt me so much, then the girl that I wanted to be by my side as I followed You. But she turned on me and turned some things into deep pain. The wound that YOUR so called servants dealt me.. it's festered and I can't move without pain. Lord, I need to let go, although I know it's time I need to let go and move on. This hurts me so much but I want YOUR healing."

With one touch not only did the swelling go away but I could feel all the infection disappear. I twisted and most of the pain was gone, but I could still feel the scar. I knew that some wounds are always there, and the scar is not there to provoke bitterness but as a reminder to do things differently.

Then last of all, He looked into my eyes and spoke. "What others have done to you was not in my name, for you know that I will always love you, for you are mine! Do not worry about what the hypocrites do or say for you know that their path is not Mine and they will reap what they have sown. You are mine."

The Limits of Modern Christianity.

when I wrote this draft, I had gotten this lengthy letter about how Calvinism is wrong about predestination. I personally didn't even read it. Why? Because the letter wasn't about what God says.. it was a reaction to a belief. I don't care whether you believe that God has predestined some to hell, or if you believe you can lose your salvation.
During the last couple years as I have mingled with other Christians I've noticed the trend towards doctrinal division. Yes, it's very important to have beliefs and to have standards, but what is alarming and so wrong about this trend is the way it is influenced by our very human nature.
Why did this one person respond so vehemently against predestination? Why is losing your salvation upheld so strongly? Why do we as Christians take our interpretations of scriptures that has puzzled far wiser and Godlier Christians and shout that our view is correct? We may even shun those who dare to believe differently. But why do we behave this way?
My opinion, and I ask each of you to search your heart for the reason for the strivings among us, is that we are reacting with our human nature to things we hope that couldn't be true.
When confronted with a God that could condemn people to hell and not even give them a chance, we claim, that's not God, My God is fair. Predestination has to be wrong. We search the scriptures to back our views up because we small-mindedly believe we have a small God who can't be so unfair as to choose some over others.
We say that God doesn't do miracles today, because we don't see it today and because it doesn't match up with what we see. Our faith is defined by what we see.
We say that people can lose their salvation, because we cannot comprehend a God who could be so merciful and so loving to never let us go when we spit in His holy face and mock Him. Why? Because our human nature has once again put God into a box shaped by human hands. Our faith is not a Can-Do faith, it's a faith of Can't. The reason we don't fully understand and live for God is because we gave up and we limited God before we even started!
My God not only did all those miracles in the Bible, he's capable of doing it today. He condemned without second thoughts mass genocide because they disgusted him. His Holiness is so powerful and so righteous that anything He does is right. He chooses what He will do despite what we as frail humans say He does.
My God is so deep that I will never say what He can't do.. or what I cannot do through Him.
I believe that my God is so multifaceted that I will never be able to fully explain Him, and that someone else standing next to me can get a different view of Him.
What matters the most is not my fellow brothers doctrine, but that he loves God, that he lives for God. All that matters is Jesus. Let us see what we can do, not what others can't.

Sisyphus

Straining every moral fibre
for to rest is to slip
a slip is a fall-a failure
around my tired frame fallen brothers
ones left behind in their Sisyphean
challenge to fail alone emboldened
by fear I press on
Straining
Striving
Failing

Everyday I am the same
Will I ever change or
will I stay this way
another Sisyphus pushing uphill

Exhausted I strain bleeding
for each forward step I take
this burden I push growing
heavier each moment-others
stop to help-or so saying
they state encouragement or
help push a little then moving
uphill I go faster-often my
brothers 'side me climbing
on my burden casting
adding
hating
Judging

Everyday I am the same
Will I ever change or
will I stay this way
another Sisyphus pushing uphill

I push on-giving my all
stubbornly, angrily, frustrated
wanting to give up why is this
so hard-jaded-I believe my fate
not realizing my problem all
along is me finally I acknowledge
the need for His help not for
more strength but for Him to
take this burden away
Asking
Begging
Pleading

Everyday I am the same
Will I ever change or
will I stay this way
another Sisyphus pushing uphill

Stopping-gasping for air wondering
where He is-seeing Him where
He has been all this time-here
falling to my knees-almost crushed
by this mammoth burden crying out not
for strength but for deliverance
He reaches out with one hand-grasping
my burden so effortlessly-His other
hand-so strong-so gentle-lifting
me from my battered knees-at
His touch my burden shrinks
to nothing-wiping away my blood
tears and sweat then leading
me up the hill we go
Resting
Following
Trusting

Everyday I am the same
I am changed I am in His
way casting all cares on Him
running uphill-Sisyphus no longer

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A knight in sullied armor

My mom really dislikes that I refer to myself sometimes as a sullied knight. I've called myself a knight in sullied armor. This may strike may people a little wird, but what I am saying is a reflection of how I believe we should live.I am not a knight in shining armor. I do not have the time to sit and polish and buff my armor. My armor is dented and stained. It has many holes in it, it has entrenched sweat stains, and it has a few blood stains and splatters of weird and mysterious origins. My armor is sullied, it is stained. I have some stains on my body too, a few scars both on my body and I believe on my soul. My sword is not perfect, nor is it shined and polished, it has some deep nicks and scratched in the blade, yet my blade is sharp and the stains it has on it are the stains of enemies, not my friends or companions.
Why is my armor so stained and dirty? Why do I wear sullied armor when all seek the knight in shining armor? I am battle ready, I train for the fight, I live for the day of battle because it is when you say you are done, when you turn to relax, it is then that your fow strikes. I do not battle with flesh that will give in or compromise, I battle with unseen foes that want to steal all that I hold dear. I have fought many times and lost many times, yet the more I fight, the better I get, for I fight under a Captain who is faithful and who has my back. Without him I would be dead. So I am a knight in sullied armor. I will continue ti fight and may my armor be soon covered with fresh stains nobly earned in the service of my Captain.
Do not see my armor and turn away as if it is a mark of disgrace, for I wear it as a trophy for it is earned in the service of my Captain.
Is your armor stained?

"How to Tell a True War Story"

I hate English.. reading all these feminist crap stories and always getting picked on for having some standards of right and wrong. Today we read and kinda discussed "How to Tell a True War Story."
Here's some of the dialogue and my thoughts on it.

"I thought that this story is indicative of the pain that people go through and how they can't tell it (girl #1)."---- That's because you wouldn't be able to understand it, you can't understand unless you have been through it.

"(girl 2 reads part of the story) I think this is so cruel what they did to the water buffalo.. wonder why they have so much trouble dealing with it." - That's because it's traumatic...

I reread part of the story. The narrator keeps repeating his horrid memory of his friend stepping out onto sunshine that lifts him into the tree. Over and over again the author rehashes how he saw his friend explode. The class babbles on about how the guy feels this and that.. but they don't know. They can't know. Something just sticks with you about these horrid memories, these flashbacks, they are like unpleasant ghosts. They happened.. but they are still around.. and they haunt you for the rest of your life. Maybe the class is right though.. maybe it's time to talk about it and get it out. Maybe it will help.

The moon was four fingers above the horizon, but I still had no sense of the time or how much farther we had left. I was tired.. and in the rear with my squad. People keep gapping and it's frustrating. Needham won't shut up neither will Kocher.. Good gosh.. won't they shut up! one foot in front of the other, step after step.
we are hiking on a road now.. the rocky trails hurt my feet and caused many of us to give up. They will hate themselves for dropping out. Butler, Grengs.. the names go on about those who quit that night. But there were others who didn't quit.. The van pulled up to pick up one of the quitters, and someone boiled out.
"Get back in the van!"
"Sir, this recruit is hiking!" I can hear the pain in Clarks voice.. He's got bad knees. yet he hikes on. He's a former marine.. that guy has got guts.
He hikes on for 15 or so minutes then he gasps for help.. I grab his right arm.. Sweatnam gets his other arm. one foot in front of the other, step after step.
Clark starts screaming.. these deep animal screams. Sandypants and Sweatnam keep trading out and I keep on.
Clark is hurting so bad.. I cry to hear it.
one foot in front of the other, step after step. Eventually they take Clark away from us and we finish the hike.
Sunday morning, Clark got up and thanked the guys who helped him.. but he forgot me, I hadn't said anything.. later I mentioned it to Sandy.. and he accused me of lying..
I still hear the screams though. I see Clark.. and I cry for the pain. I don't know why.. but it's still there. It hurts..

?

I stand, helmet on the ground, tired, exhausted, I've been losing the daily battles. All my armor is on the ground, I'm battered, bruised, and my weapons seem useless. I've fought and been victorious before, why am I so helpless to this monster now? No matter what I do, the monster within seems to destroy me. Some Knight I am.. I can't even kill a dragon within. The dragon within is slowly destroying my walk.. I can't help others, I can't love, I have to feed the dragon. I've tried starving it, and it only returns with a stronger appetite and I can do nothing to stop him.. or so it seems. Where was my victories? my confidence, I've beaten this dragon before. Once again I pick up my armor, put it on, sharpen my sword and jump into the fray. I've forgotten to release my shroud of guilt and self loathing though, soon the dragon has me at his mercy. I stumble seeking help from everyone but those willing to help. Finally I cry out, to the One who has given me my previous victory.. God I don't want to be the monster I am, I don't want to be under this Dragon, and slowly I gain my strength, Now's the time.. Do I get help from other dragon slayers? Or do I try to beat it on my own? I seek out aid, I find the right help, and I fight back to back. Is the dragon dead? No.. this dragon is more than mere flesh and blood, but I am no longer flat on my back...

Still putting my armor on and sharpening my sword..

Spain day 23

This is my last Sunday here, Although they sing and pray in a different language here, I see a passion and I can sense the Holy Spirit in a way that I've only felt once before in a church. Church here is very different, It's not so much a social duty or activity as it is a lifestyle. You can't get them out of Church. They love to fellowship and worship almost nonstop here. Church isn't Sunday and Wednesday, it's all week. Monday you have Mens meetings, Tuesday Womens, or vice versus. Wednesday the teenagers, Thursday my age group, Friday is cell groups with families, and Saturday they evangelize. There is such a difference here and there are so few of them, yet they are dauntless. What I see convicted me.. I have 24 hours in a day, same as anyone, yet what do I do with it? Do I uplift? Do I tear down? Do I focus on God? Or is it all about me? What I am doing with my time isn't enough. The people here are on the front lines, surrounded by demonism, immorality, and perversion, and they stand boldly for Christ.
They need money, support, the economy is in a crises here, and I've not heard one complaint.. only how Jesus is using it and how blessed they are despite the times.
They see the need around them and they are trying despite their lack of numbers. Barcelona is one of the Gateways to Europe. What a opportunity...

Day 22

Today I went with Uncle Mike into a little town that had a natural spring flowing out of a rock. We filled up water bottles. Next we went through the town. It was all buildings still inhabited, but they were 12th century. I walked through there and took pictures. One of the vived memories was rounding a stone house and comon upon a entrance where fresh Laundry was airing. The dark pants and red blouse were against a background of gray stone and faded red roof slates all wafted with the hint of lavender. Wickedly awesome. then we drove to a nearby mountain.. well bluffs on a mountain. We are in the mountains. I got to freeclimb about 20 feet.. oh gosh I thought I was going to die.. at one point I was over 200 feet of air and my foot slipped off as the rocks broke free. I had my arms under me though and so I was just dangling.. what made it hard was the bluff was sandstone which the wind had cut back to rocks so you had to be careful which rocks you grabbed.. :D ...I got some really cool videos though.. Well I had to leave and I decided to beat my time up the bluff by going down.. I beat it by a good 5 minutes. No I didn't jump.. I had just taken the really long path up the bluff and missed the shortcut. Then we talked about the importance of living a life for Christ and being a witness and a missionary to all people. Each of those little towns have about 500 people to 1000... in this one disctrict alone there are thousands of villages just like this. They all have a church.. and they all are empty of souls. Who will go? Who is ready? Truly the fields are white for harvest.. and where are the workers? Sitting on their megasize rears watching movies and playing Halo....
let us reap before the rain comes.

Spain day 18&19

Tuesday I got to have a real blast. We went and painted the church for about 6 hours then I went to a gym nearby. I had been invited by a sweet lady from church. I went and did some fun stuff.. and running is soo much better on a road.
While I was working with the paint. it was so nice to be with other people and we talked about God and it was amazing. God is very nice just in the small areas. The way he did was an amazing edifying conversation with one of the team that day. He has been blessing me over and over again. Then I went to the gym. ooh I'd rather run on the road. It was nice, but it's really expensive here in Barcelona. After we got done for the day I went out to eat with the group of Americans. We ate a ton of Tapas? sp* 13 of us.. put away 110 of them. see Tapas are like these little hor d' orves... sp* so they have these toothpicks. The place charged an euro a toothpick.. being a Texan, toothpicks... Yup.. I grabbed one and started using it. Hey! no comment.. only problem was they asked for it afterwards.. :P American abroad...
It was amazing walking the streets with Americans and taking pictures and just talking with them. The professor kinda in charge is this amazing guy. Although he's over three times my age we talked like he was three years older than me. I had an interesting debate with Him. It was really nice.
Wednesday I stayed back and worked on the commands of Christ. I am almost done putting the entire book online. :D Then I went down with Kirsten down to town and we picked up some cereal and chocolate (for cookies) and red bull. Ok so I like it. And all you girls would love the chocolate here. It's sooo good and pretty cheap too. That's days 18 and 19 here.... and on day 17 late into the night something amazing happened. Ask in a year.

Spain day 17

Today was very interesting.. I don't think I quite understood everything.. but we had the Americans here and we painted the church. It was so much fun being with people who spoke english. They are so much fun. There was also some Spanish men working there too so I got to pick up some more Spanish. After we got done with the sanctuary they all left and I went on a prayer walk. I got lost... and turned around and stuff but I made it back. Then I went with Sabrina and Kirsten to the park.. and played with them. I got worn out fast. Then we all went out with a visiting American from Belfast for coffee. It's amazing to see the look on the americans face when I they come in and we all say "Hola, Coma estoy?" and they (like me) struggle to say hello, then they hear me say "Howdy Y'all". It's so much fun. While we were there talking a homless man showed up and just started talking with us. He told us his whole life story. He was from Palestine.. lost his family due to a war. He showed us the pictures and cried. He was not saved and we tried to share the gospel but he was very very drunk. It's so sad to see this.. People who have given up on life, yet who are so lonely. He didn't even know where he was going to sleep that night but he was so lonely. It's not just here that people are like that.. there are the homeless among us who need just random acts of kindness. Let us show them more.

Spain day 16

Sunday was interesting.. I had slept over at the church all night. well for 4 hours. Those Spanish kids are just like American kids.. they play when the cats away.. then we had to stay at the church all day and I stole two hours and went into the office and slept.. they said they missed me but I know that they were really happy I didn't eat a ton of food. :D We have 7 people here from a college in Fort Wayne and they are going to be here until the 12th. They are helping with the church too and doing touristy things. 5 girls, one guy, and their professor is on the way. I feel really sorry for the guy, (Phil) because he is soo outnumbered and yes... one of the girls is very ditzy.. but they all for the most part have a real desire to serve and to help. We went out for ice cream, don't ask me to spell the word for it here. I got a milkshake. How they make milkshakes here is really cool. You pick out the ice cream you want, they put it in a blender with milk, and they add sugar and nutmeg. WOW, it was really good, although it was expensive. We went to the Plaza de Spain, and sorrow of sorrows... I had forgotten my camera again.. so sorry y'all. Then we headed back to the train station and I hopped on to go to Terressa. Uncle mike went to pick me up and he got lost.. I knew where I was,,, but something neither of us knew was there was 3 stations in Terressa.. not 2. He couldn't find me at either one of those because I was at the very first one. I met some deaf people while waiting though, we couldn't speak very well.
It was a very good Sunday.

Spain day 15

It's been really good here for the last couple days. I've been typing out the commands of Christ so they can be translated. It's been really cool hanging out with the cousins. Sabrina and Kirsten have been alot of fun to hang with and they like to bicker alot sometimes. Kirsten's nickname is Tatiana. I haven't the slightest idea what it means but they have been fun. Last night I went with the Torres to a Bible study. It was at a nice apartment and there was a huge pool. There were about 8 kids. You will see plenty of pictures later on fb. Well t the the kids were playing futball and tag so one of the dads asked me to make sure that they didn't fall into the pool. I missed a huge bible study about the light of the earth. It was really hilarious to play with the kids none of whom spoke any english and my Spanish was almost as bad. Goal is pretty universal though. Chuta was kick for them.. some type of slang from Brazil. Well to say.. my horrid futball skills showed up. You have any idea how humiliating it is to be beat by a bunch of 6 year olds? Well good thing I don't either, that would have been bad. One of the 6 year old guys noticed that I was always talking to Kirsten and asked if I was her boyfriend. See even kids here are the same.. one of them had gone through several gfs already. I've had to do a little work here but I've more than enjoyed it all. What has been very interesting is the social life. People here aren't friendly unless you are introduced my somebody they know. The pastor is in a city about 40 miles from the closest person so I get alot of time to spend with my cousins when they aren't doing school.
About my cousins, I guess technically they aren't my cousins.. their mom is Rachel Worley Torres.. and my Dad's sister married into the Worley family. All inlaws in this family. Uncle Mike/Miguel is the pastor and he's a real fuzzball. He's really jolly and has a great sense of humor. His duties with the church demand alot of his time. Aunt Rachel seems to be really nice and she keeps working and keeps the kids working and does mch work as well. Kirsten is very sober and works very hard and is very mature and wise for 12 years. yet she can be very fun loving. Sabrina is a very cute adorable little kid, she's age 8. often I come in and I see Kirsten and she's reading her Bible. It really warms my heart to see that. Someone so young seeking God.
Let's follow her example and follow God too.

Spain day 13

It's been amazing to see it all. The people here have this fire, One guy, Julio, had a job that paid 6000 euros a month. He's a double masters in engineering. He's been really working and investing in the church and he's on fire for God. Really leading the young people. He lost his job a month ago and he was offered a better paying job than his old one but it was in another country. He also got a job offer for the same amount of money but it would make it so he couldn't work at the church. He turned both down so he could live for God.
Saturday night we were all praying before they went witnessing in the streets. They had 10 converts! 10.. and the church is booming. They don't know how to disciple though. The pastor here has seen me going through the commands of Christ booklet and wants to use it in the church. I've been typing them out as Kirsten reads them to me. Then they will translate them. I think maybe God can use me in this way.

Today I made French toast with Kirsten.. haha I'm living proof that guys can cook! but what wasn't so cool was the clean up... did you know that heated sugar when cooled by water forms an epoxy?
:P

Spain day 11

Today has been nice. I finished up the powerpoint, and spent time reviewing a book on praying in the word. I spent alot of time having a blast with my coz! They really are awesome. It was nice and I was into an interesting debate about spiritual weapons. It's so important to be proactive in the fight!

What ever comes.. i will rejoice although I feel weak, I have laid my hand to the plow and I will not turn back.
It's been hard to deal with some stuff today but I have made the determination and I'm fasting until the desires are gone. Pray God will give me aid as I try to serve Him. This is amazing what God is showing me... and comforting me with Psalm 139

Spain day 10

It´s been amazing to be here at church.. well all day practically, we came at 9:30 and we stayed here until 12 at night.... God is really firing up this church here. They have such a passion. It puts us to shame.. becayse they are not afraid to live for Christ. They are a light in this darkness and Satan would dearly love to snuff them out. Now they are far from perfect as they would say, pray that they will follow and finish casting off what will hinder them.
God has been doing small things that are so much blessing.. like in church a girl sitting next to me who spoke perfect english and nicely translated for me. My friends who are pouring out prayers for me, a dad I can tell anything to and who loves me more than I thought he could. I´m free, thanks to God.
Why is it easier today? Well I've got a prayer chain. Many of you have seen or know of my dogtag and ring.. well it´s on a break away necklace and there are 181 beads on there. Every morning when I get up, I go over each one praying for someone different. Who do I pray for? Well if you are in my family or you´ve shared with me and I said I´ll pray, I am. God works best in my life when I´m more concerned about others. Thanks soo much for all your prayers and everything. You have no idea the effect they have.
We just spent time at church. I talked alot with Kirsten and she said I had some very sweet friends and she was glad that she got to talk with them. Yes that includes my sister. If she is saying it.. she's gotta be right. Thanks so much all y'all!

Spain day 9

What do you do when you are up against incredible odds? When you are being beat back? Do you give in? and give up? Do you keep resisting in your own strength? Or do you run to God.. begging for help and forgiveness? I was presented with that challenge today.. I did something.. and I had a choice, I went running to God and told my dad. I know that God is the one who is always big enough. Run to Him!
Today was again more relaxed. I really started learning Spanish and I met some awesome people. Good thing they spoke english. I prayed with the group of people my age but I had to leave before they went street evangelizing. These young people about my age to early 30's use their Saturday nights to go witness to the Homeless and help them out. Saturday night.. when most of us are busy doing our own things. It's really convicting. Their prayers were not the prayers of infants.. but of warriors. God please use us in mighty ways. I see the fire some of this church has and I see great things coming for them as God works. Funny thing for today.. Sabrina tries to tickle my knee and grabs it.. she stops and turns big brown eyes up at me.. "Is that a ball under your skin or a tumor?"
lol..

Spain day 8

Today I worked with Sabrina on school until she finished, then we went down to Matadepera, however all the stores were closed... even though it was 2-3 in the afternoon. the hours for work here is like 10-2 then 5-8 at night. And the construction for the roads happen at night so it's kinda cool. At 6:30ish we left for a Christian cell party. A bunch of believers gets together every week and invites unsaved couples there. we sang alot of songs.. in Spanish. I can sing it just find if it's written on the screen. I played futball with the kids.. I beat 2 six yearolds.. aren't I special? :D, ok I did let them win once. Three of the men there were futball players, pros. One of the guys was a robotics engineer. Don't ask me to spell their names. but a good deal of them spoke english so it was really nice. They really have a fire for God and they seek Him. It's not always easy though.. yah and we didn't leave until 1 in the morning! and that's when people really started getting hyper... I think they were having some type of coffee addiction. It's really worth observing in greater detail...
May God use us all

Spain day 7

Today was a comedy. I helped out with the powerpoint again and helped the kids with school. Miguel challenged me to a game of darts. He's much better than me, but I have incredible luck and when I concentrate I can give him a run for his money. I stunk really badly though and we got closer and we did a winner takes all. 6 darts. we both tied at 80 points so we threw once more. He hit 20 points.. the best outside the inner black (25) and the inner red (50) He started teasing me.. so I concentrated and threw... dead center. He about cried and his wife even laughed at him. haha you have to know Mike to understand.
I tried to get Sabrina to do school so Aunt Rachel could study for church. it was like pulling teeth to get her to do her work.. Aunt Rachel and Uncle mike headed out for the prayer meeting and first thing ya know.. power outage!! well these being little girls and me being in Spain, I couldn't find the breaker box. So I took them out on a walk into town and got some great shots and wish I had a better camera. We picked up some drinks and headed back. the night was great for pics. I got back... the power was still off. so I checked again for the breaker box and one girl happened to remember that the box was by the front door! I had walked past it a dozen times. oh well. The washer kept flipping the breaker though.. and one time while it was dark I knocked down a picture and busted the frame in half. oh well. I cooked dinner and put some rosemary in it. Kirsten asked me.. what are these sticks.. and I said.. I picked them off the floor... cockroach legs, and we died laughing. when the parents got back we tried to fix the wireless.. me with one hand on the antenna and another on the celling. it was a good day today. I'm really looking forward to each day. God bless!

Spain day 5

Today I went on a prayer walk with the pastor and it was very eyeopening. It's so hard for the Christians. There is so much here that is needed. The tv has only 4 channels that don't show porn after 9 pm and don't have texting for dates. the radio has all kinds of stations just pushing sex and immorality. The immorality is prevalent. and even the young kids are being corrupted. Because so much immorality is here one of the things needed is a pregnancy crises center. Here is one of Satan's biggest cities... and the people need Jesus. We do have a set of bold believers here but with the social structure here you can't really go out and witness. These people are not open to witnessing by strangers but they are social. You invite them over and they will come. So the church has formed cell groups and they meet and they will invite a unsaved couple over and reach them that way. With the work schedule and the economy most people don't have time to spend hours in a ministry like the crises center and the church can't support that many workers in this economy. Also they really need a missionary to the muslims.. there is such a huge population and no one is there for them. There are about 8000 towns here with none to bear the light of Christ.
Today on the prayer walk I saw all these guys working out and doing pullups, so being me I went over there. well after I finished showing off a guy asked me for the time. From there I got to witness to him, but like the majority of people here he believed he was a Christian cause he was born into a catholic family. God has a great work to do here..
Please pray.

Spain day 4

Today was a nice day, I worked with the pastor on preparing a powerpoint on Eternal Security. Alot of the members of his church are from South America and are oof a Pentacostal background and believe you can lose your salvation. Now as many of you know this is a very important issue. How can we be effective in witnessing if we aren't sure if we are going there?
I've also been grading alot of schoolwork for my aunt because she's got alot with the church. There's so many young believers and she has to help with alot of the counseling, and it's hard cause she's homeschooling 2 girls. So I can help them out a little bit. I start prayer walking tomorrow and I need to run 6 miles up the mountain so this seems like tomorrow will be quite the day.
My uncle went to get his brakes fixed... 760 euros!!! Wow.
The burden here is so mighty... not just for the people here but for the pastor and his family. Please lift up Sabrina and Kirsten. Satan would love to take these two precious girls away and to destroy this family that serves God. one of the talks we have had is that the pastor is worried about the destructive influences that his kids are being exposed to since his arrival. One of which is Youtube, rock music, and the lifestyle of those he's trying to lead to Christ. Please pray a hedge of protection around them.
It's been hard for me too. I don't want to say I'm on the front lines.. but I'm exposed to alot more of Satan's attacks then when I was back home.
Satan would love to see what we could do diminished. But pray we are bold and reach others!
It's time to carry the fight to him and if it means that we are attacked more then so be it.. but the ones on the front need the support from those behind us. Not just us.. but all those who are serving in Satan's grounds.
Support them lest they fall.
God bless.

Follow me~Christs second command

Matthew 4:19 and He said unto them, Follow me and I will make you fishers of Men.
The second command is to follow Christ, however if you remember it is only 2 verses after the call to repent. You can't follow Jesus when You are seeking your own way.
Isaiah 57:18-19 18I have seen his ways, and will heal him: I will lead him also, and restore comforts unto him and to his mourners. 19I create the fruit of the lips; Peace, peace to him that is far off, and to him that is near, saith the LORD; and I will heal him.
God gives peace to those who follow him. When we follow God with all of our heart we have what we desire most in our souls, therefore we have peace.
Psalms 56:3, 113What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. 11In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.
Once again I have perfect peace in God because I am looking only to Him! God is good when you seek Him with your whole heart.
Psalms 58:1 1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
As Christians how do we act? What do we speak? What do we do? Are we more of the world or are we of God?
Matthew 7:20-23 20Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. 21Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
This is so clear! Let us follow Him so not only will others know what we are but so that there is no doubt that we will be one of those who say we did help you? God indeed is calling us to serve Him with a whole heart.
Matthew 8:10-13, 17 10When Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. 11And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 13And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his servant was healed in the selfsame hour. 17That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.
Our faith is indeed in how we follow Him. Will we be little of faith or much in faith? Let us move mountains!
Matthew 28 is about how Jesus arose. Just as the lack of Jesus' body was in the tomb, so as we follow Jesus through all that is going to come, the lack of worldly passions and desires will show that we are living anew!

Isaiah 59:16-17And he saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor: therefore his arm brought salvation unto him; and his righteousness, it sustained him. 17For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet of salvation upon his head; and he put on the garments of vengeance for clothing, and was clad with zeal as a cloak.
This passage is so convicting. God looks and sees this huge gap in between sinful man and Himself and how really sinful we are. He asks, who is interceding? My question was.. am I interceding? Am I the man in the gap who is bold to pray for the lost? Or am I even like Jonah where I give up and wait for the bonfire to begin?
Psalms 61:2 2From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
As I follow Him.. He will renew me! He is indeed merciful and when my heart is overfilled and stressed out God is there. It's always best to look beyond myself.
Psalms 63:1, 8 1O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; 8My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.
It's so important to seek God! Do I really desire Him that much? Is He the first thing I seek?
Matthew 10:8, 14-15, 17-19, 32,8Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.14And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. 15Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.17But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues; 18And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles. 19But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.32Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.
I think this is an indicator of what we should be doing and what should happen to us. Are we living a Spirit fillled life? or are we doing our own thing? God only uses those who are available to be used.
Matthew 11: 28-30 28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
often my excuse is I am afraid how hard it will be yet it's much easier than my own way. let us seek rest in His arms!
Proverbs 14:12 12There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
What is the downside of following? Death, it's true, death of friendships, death of ourselves little by little. Let us take God's way for in Psalms 66, it's clear that it may look like death but He will lead us! God is so good, for He has shepherded my soul through my trials and although I haven't always seen Him, He is always there. But lf I do put anything in my heart and keep anything from my God, He won't hear me.
Psalms 66:10-12, 18 10For thou, O God, hast proved us: thou hast tried us, as silver is tried. 11Thou broughtest us into the net; thou laidst affliction upon our loins. 12Thou hast caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water: but thou broughtest us out into a wealthy place.18If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

Psalms 69:7-13 7Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face. 8I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children. 9For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me. 10When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach. 11I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them. 12They that sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards. 13But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.
Part of following means that many who I'd like to praise me will persecute me or reject me. yet will I look to Jesus
Psalms 70:4 4Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, Let God be magnified.
Not only do I look to God when I'm troubled but do I praise Him? When I'm in trouble I'll call upon Him like Peter did.. but do I keep my eyes on Him when I'm not in trouble?May I walk with Jesus all the time and not just when I'm drowning in fear.
Matthew 14:28-30 28And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. 29And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
Psalms 71:1-5 1In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion. 2Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me. 3Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress. 4Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man. 5For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.
I see my sin and my humanness more and more each day. If I dwell on myself I will go nowhere, I have to flee to God for he is my refuge and strength. In Him shall I trust let me not be shaken
Isaiah 61:1 1The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
I think this is the duty of each Christian, to totally seek God and as we follow Him we will be bold to witness, to help and to hold those who weep, to free those trapped in sin and let His word be known.
Matthew 16:24-26 24Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Am I willing to lose everything? If I was facing death I would be bold, I have nothing to fear, but what about losing something less dramatic, what about my scholarship, my friends, my reputation? Am I willing to give that up? I don't want to, I'm a people person, yet do I love God more than I love my friends? Is my love of others an extension of His love for me?
So many questions... just two answers.
Matthew 20:23, 25-28 23And he saith unto them, Ye shall drink indeed of my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with: but to sit on my right hand, and on my left, is not mine to give, but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared of my Father. 25But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. 26But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; 27And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: 28Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
Am I willing to follow Him? I'm in a stronghold of Satan right now and even though it's not affecting me physically it's a temptation to run back home where it's safe and secure from such spiritual attacks. I am called to serve! Wherever God calls me I am called to do the little things, I'd love to do big things but right now I'm pretty content not to have that much responsibility. Please pray for the Torres... it's not easy here.
Psalms 84:10 10For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.
I see this so much! While the flesh is alluring it's so much more satisfactory to be in the Presence of God! May you all be in his presence!
Psalms 86:11 11Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name.
Oh let me seek God, I am here willing to serve yet feeling the draw of the world. Form my heart into one purpose. to serve you with nothing held back.
Matthew 23:4For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
God is not this way, I saw it today at church.. you had to pay 9 bucks to go in! and get a candle or something.It's so awesome that the very God who made us we don't have to pay anything, observe any special rules.. to worship Him, all we need is a pure love of Him. May I never grow cold.
Isaiah 64:88But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand

Spain day 3

Today was awesome. I went to church and the people were so friendly.. haha more kissing of course.. I didn't know there were so many types of lipsticks... haha. Church is so social here, and then we went and hung out with some friends and they talked about alot of stuff in Spanish. One of the couples were fluent.. in English because the hubby was a agent for basketball and soccer players. The meal was at this really nice authentic Italian restaurant... it cost 161 euros! :P
I was given a really good chance to be a example when I was offered some light wine. I explained that I had made a vow that I would not drink. We walked on the beach and I wish I had brought my camera... but it was really nice and I was really quiet and spent time in prayer.. So much is going on.. My Aunt asked me to help her with school for Kirsten with reading and grammer.. I'm wanting to help where ever I can. I'll be doing some cleanup.. hehe. God is moving.. and for some reason He's using me.. and I don't know why. I spent 30 minutes sharing about the commands of Christ with Miguel, the pastor I am staying with. God is indeed amazing.
Please lift up the Spaniards... they need Jesus.
And a quote from Tio Miguel

"Kissing as a greeting isn't too bad when it's a young pretty girl. but when she's old, and fat, stinky and missing teeth, you ask yourself... can I wake up?"

Spain day 2

Today was the relaxed day because it was Saturday.. so I slept in to the local time of 7:20 did my Bible time then went on a little run. I started running uphill and kept running for 12 and a half minutes. I noticed on the way up.. that the Torres (family I'm with) are living on the side of a mountain! my poor legs... Every Saturday the Torres go down to Barcelona and go walking in the street, go shopping and just walking. It was amazing they have this one street where you have people come out and are acting and they get money, all kinds of shops.. hehe yes I did I bought some stuff and a knife. :D It was amazing we walked down to the harbor, went to McDonalds.. it was 5 stories tall! And they even charged for Mayo. The Euro may be sounder... but you have less buying power. A big mac costs 9 american dollars... not cool. Then we walked more and had wicked strong coffee and saw amazing stuff.. everyone walks and the streets are packed with people. Then we went into an open air market and it was amazing.. have to check the pics onfb... People are very social here but not too friendly.
The main thing I saw.. is the loss, they don't know God, they want fulfillment in life and they do anything, nudity is accepted.. sex is open, a couple started in front of me at McDonalds while in line. So many people, and all so lost. Tonight many of them are going to go out and get drunk.. and party and live immorally, all because they want to feel something, they don't have anything to live for. Please pray..

Spain day 1

Today started on the 16.. since I've pretty much been up since then. God has opened up some doors. I got to witness in the airport but I really saw 2 Corinthians 4:4 so much. Americans have all they want and they don't need God.
I'm pretty much shocked by all the filth and what is accepted in the world. well I shouldn't be but especially in Spain I've sensed the stronghold Satan has here and I've been bombarded and the only relief I got was when I rebuked Satan and gave my thoughts to God. THe church my Uncle Mike is pastoring is growing so fast that they need new places, however the cost of living is expesive. to bu a apartment with 1000 sq feet you need about 1 million euros. So it would be a God thing but there church is divided. the old group puts thier trust in money and doesn't want to let what they have go. The newer folks want to do what God calls them to do.
So far I am staying with the Torres.. the wife Rachel is my Aunt's SIL. So they are kinda related. They have a lovely home. pix up on fb soon. and they have two daughters Kirsten, age 12 and Sabrina, 8.It's been awesome! Please pray for those areas. God bless

Repent, 1st command of Christ

Matthew 28:18-19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen

I am called to teach others to obey the commands of Christ. 2 weeks ago I couldn't have told you what they were. I am going to go through them this year and I cordially invite you to participate in my adventure. If you do know me you realize that my life is an adventure. :D
Thanks for the prayers too.
Matthew 4:17
From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Well if I am going to follow God I need to repent of the things that turn me aside from Him. When I went on a Journey I was so sure that my music was ok. It was Christian music! I loved listening to it. True it had a rock beat but I still don't agree with Dr. Gothard's teachings on why rock music is bad. But I felt God telling me that I needed to get rid of some of it. I came back and I listened to my music and I was soo shocked that so much of my "Christian" music didn't even mention God. THese singers could have been talking about their bfs, or even lovers. It was something I have to give up.

Revelations 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
Because God loves me, when I sin, He will bring me back to Him by chastising me, but I have to repent! It's why I struggled with certian areas, I wouldn't be obeying God and letting go of my bitterness or etc. Then I live a life of freedom.

Acts 3:8 Repent ye therefore and be converted that your sins may be blotted out when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord

Proverbs 1:23 Turn you at my reproof: behold I will pour my spirit out to you, I will make known my words unto you.

There are rewards for repenting. Our sins that we hold on to will be taken away and blotted out! We will be refreshed and renewed in the Lord!! He will pour his Spirit upon us! And His word will take on new meaning! God is an awesome and Holy God but we can only draw near when we have a clean heart. Seek out the areas in your life that you may be holding on to and with humbleness.. give them away.

Isaiah 55: 6Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: 7Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon
Why do we not see God? Why is he far away? It's because we have either run from Him or started to drift away. We as a church have put not God first but the law of Grace, we live immoral, worldly lives and we dare to say that we are headed for Heaven and are the children of God. We are wicked and we say we are good because we said a prayer once. Oh, may we repent and see that we are not even close to God's ways or his thoughts. God's word doesn't return void, let us cast aside what slows us down and run like we have nothing else to live for. Let His word prosper in our lives as we repent and follow Him.

Psalms 51:6,17 6Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. 17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
Part of repenting is the humility, we have to be broken. In the OT, they would offer up incense to God as part of the sacrifice. Incense was formed by grinding up some herb. It is mentioned in the NT that the prayers of the saints are as incense to God. When we commune out of a broken and contrite heart to our Father it is pleasing to Him.
Proverbs 11:2 2When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.
Something I have been noticing in my own life is the tendancy to have an Holier than thou attitude. Yet Pride is what I have to fight against.
Isaiah 55:11 11Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.
I see this so much in the church, we have Men, shepherds and they love mammon more than God, it makes those who do serve God and love us and see us as their Holy charge much more precious, let us not waste what we have and keep them in prayer.
Matthew 6: 22The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! 24No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. 25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? 26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
When others look at me, do they see me? Do they see the world? What do they see? I hope they see Jesus. I am headed to college soon. The tendency of this world is to worry about tomorrow, next year, my retirement. God says the birds don't prepare yet God feeds them, now that doesn't mean God heaps up piles of worms for the robins. He put worms in the ground and he gave the robin the sense to know where the worms are. We need to work, yet thank God for what He is providing, and not worry about the future, let us bless others and seek Him Fully.
Lets go worm hunting.

Testimony

I say this not to glorify myself or to please man but because I feel that God is calling me to live an open life and in the hopes that this may prevent some struggles or help some young men.
I got saved at a very early age. God gave me a desire for Him and I remember spending hours in the word. Then I was physically abused as a kid and had to deal with a father, who although he loved me, struggled with anger issues and would sometimes explode on me. I withdrew and determined to trust no one. Combined with my bitterness I have episodes of Narcolepsy that when I am really stressed I will sleep so deeply that I can’t be woken up and I will lose bladder control and sometimes even quit breathing. Because I would not give up my bitterness I would wet the bed.
I also believed several of Satan’s lies, that I was a failure, that nobody loved me, that my dad hated me, that God hated me, and even that I hated me. I believed I was worthless and that I wasn’t worth living. I couldn’t trust anybody. All of this was on my inside, if you asked the people who knew me at that time they would have told you that I was a mischievous, funny kid but that I was never serious. I had so much wrong with me while living the “Christian” life. It kept getting worse though inside. I never wanted to be hurt so I would try to please everyone. It was so miserable that several times I would “run away” and I struggled so much with suicidal thoughts that I thought I was going crazy. I would habitually lie to avoid punishment.
At age 15 I got caught up with lust and the physical aspects. I was very ignorant but I got addicted and could not stop. I was exposed to porn and was caught up in it and would leave it but keep returning to it like the young man void of understanding in Proverbs 7. It was about this time that I started listening to rock music without my parents knowing it.
My parents caught me a couple times on the lust problems and I would lie to them and tell them whatever I could to get them to not be angry with me. I believed another lie of Satan that if they knew what I was really doing that they would never forgive me. I was so wrong. I thought that if my Dad who got angry over little things knew how much I struggled and the depth of my sin that he would kill me or hurt me really bad. I hated myself so much because I would try everything to get free and I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to free myself from my sin because I was keeping secrets.
Satan had me right where he wanted me. Defeated, wanting an end. I went through ALERT Basic training and God broke me and I saw how selfish I was. However, I was kicked out of Basic and I went right back home to my problems. I got deeply into my sins and the depression, suicidal thoughts, and the defeated lifestyle came back. I was so desperate once that I loaded my gun and walked out onto the back pasture to end it all. My dad heard me leave though and being the vigilant guy he is walked out to see what I was doing. I said I thought I had heard something and he thought I was being silly. I also started listening to a rock station on the radio almost all the time.
I went back through Basic and because I was so busy I lived a victorious life. I thought I had it under control. Truly the Idle hands are the devils tools. I did pretty decent in Basic and I came back for ERT. While I was there, some guys who had issues liked to tease and one young man and I were the brunt of the jokes and teasing. I started again on the depression and not surprisingly my nighttime accidents and Narcolepsy returned. The teasing continued and it was just like my dad had been hurting me again. I decided to fight back while also trying to commit suicide again. I felt like I couldn’t trust anyone and I had nothing to lose. I decided to fight back and I trained myself to be a weapon. I pushed my body to it’s limits and then some. I learned ways to kill people with whatever I could find. My anger became a tool to hurt others if it came to it again. Part of pushing myself to limits was that I would see how much pain I could stand. I would cut myself and see how long I could do it, I punched anthracite until my knuckles would bleed and I had to pick the pieces of coal out of my raw knuckles. Once I had to sew up a wound with regular needle and thread. I was doing all this in my own strength, I became the best at whatever I wanted yet still I was a victim to my own lusts. I would run 5 miles a day on my bad knees yet I would not be able to control my own desires.
Out of desperation I tried to get some accountability partners. Yet because I would not tell my dad my secret sins and my struggles, I would fail time and time again. God really humbled me through some incidents. When I thought no one cared, some godly young men came forward and woke me up every night for 15 weeks so I wouldn’t have an accident. They banded together to protect me and the other fellow who was the brunt of all the jokes. They were indeed a friend to the friendless. Some Godly officers took time to see what was happening and spoke out about what was happening. Several families “adopted” me so I could be a part of them.
When I saw the love of others to me, who I saw no good thing in, it broke me, I sought God again. I confessed my sins to God and purposed to live a life anew. My quiet times took on new meanings and I had one every day and I would pray for hours a day. I stayed on at ALERT and served in their ministry yet I still was entrapped in my struggle for lust. I couldn’t get free because I wouldn’t tell my dad and humble myself. I had a proud heart. I still thought I could defeat my problems. I did conquer most of them. I quit my secular music and started listening only to light CCM or vocal music. And even then not for weeks or months at a time would I listen to any music. I buffeted my body, ate one meal a day or less, started a fast a week, committed large passages of scripture to mind and started to disciple people. For a time my struggle with lust took a back burner as I sought God
In a garden you can pull out all the weeds, all the tops but unless you get the roots, the weeds will be back, and worse than b4. Gradually things started going wrong again. I wanted to be freed and I tried to get anyone to be my accountability partner and help me. I even had a girl as one. That was fine until her dad found out. It would have been much easier if I had just forgiven my dad and started trusting him. I started some online relationships with girls that were bad and God gave me the grace to stop it, also at that time God completely broke me of porn. I no longer saw those girls as objects, but that they could have been my sister, my cousin, they were someone’s daughter and that when I looked at them I was the very person I despised!
I repented of my actions and got closer with my parents yet I didn’t tell them everything. I would continue to spend time in God’s word and try to do good works, but they were me trying. God rarely flowed through me. I went on the Journey after I left ALERT. I had 2 goals, to conquer lust and to get closer to God. The very first day some of the previous Journey guys got up and shared about how that sin’s Strength is in it’s secrecy. I didn’t want to tell my dad everything. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was doing. Yet I determined to call him and be honest. I told him how recent my struggles were, and expressed a willingness to tell him anything. I left behind what I was doing wrong and only after I determined to do what was right did God give me the insights. Proverbs 1:23 says Turn ye at my reproof; behold, I will pour my spirit upon you, I will make my words known unto you. It wasn’t until I repented that God really began to move.
Despite God moving in several of our lives we still weren’t reaching the power of one accord. I prayed and something came to mind. I wasn’t sure I should say anything so I committed it to prayer. I later mentioned it to another guy and he too said that God had given him the same thing. I would run almost every morning and that Wednesday morning I had run 4.3 miles in 30 minutes. I was really pumped and I wanted to go again the next morning. Jordan asked me not to because we were going to be fasting the next day, so we decided to pray instead. We prayed for the guys and for God to move and there were times we couldn’t but cry and worship, we prayed for an hour but it felt like 20 minutes.
When the temptation arose, God gave me the grace to flee and I haven’t stopped running. You can’t fight lust, you have to run. God completely will free you from your struggles if you confess your sin and turn from it. I have had to take away the things that influence me towards the world. Honestly on my Journey I thought my music was ok, the movies I watched were ok. I was soo wrong. I heard the guys talking about how God freed them and the destructiveness that had been worked in their own lives. God really spoke to me through other guys and their willingness to confess. I told my dad everything. I saw that parts of my heart were uncircumcised, I had a critical spirit towards some people, and that I had a proud heart. With confession comes freedom. It is so important to be open, and contrite. The Lord loves a humble heart.
I came back and I looked at my music and at my movies with an objective outlook. So much of what I thought was ok and Christian was not God pleasing. Without even touching the rock music subject, it was impossible on many of my songs to tell who they were talking about.. was it God? Or was it their boyfriend? I even had the boldness to witness to strangers. God has been using me as a channel, but only when I look to Him and have removed everything that I put above Him. Also the power of vows; I made a vow to remain pure until marriage and to never look at porn in any form. It has been amazing to be so free! A lot of this testimony is about all that happened before God worked and the problems, yet not very much is about what happened. It’s because it’s not complicated to get right. It takes a little step and a determination to do what is right ALL the time. All it requires is openness and humility.
I am looking forward to see what God will do in my life and in the lives of others around me as I seek Him first. I know it won’t be easy, but then again, the easy things are not the best things. May God bless each of your lives as you seek first the Kingdom of God.

Part 20 A week with homeschoolers

Part 20 Almost morning light escape
Most of them tossed and turned. Many of the couples got together and the men hugged and the women sobbed. It was hard indeed to see the happy group suddenly being so transformed. Probably the major feeling was shock. These situations only happened in horror flicks, zombie movies. These weren’t Zombies… they were people, but they were sleeping now. They needed sleep too, they needed to eat from what they saw. They did eat a lot too. Go figure, most of them were guys. It was going to be interesting to say the least. Chris was staying up all night until he found a solution. It really puzzled him but at last at 4 in the morning he found an answer. See all along he had been trying to brute force it, but he had forgotten a cardinal rule, if you can’t go through go around. How do you go around a mirror? You can’t, but you can angle it. Bounce it off… Chris knew the location of every cell tower in the US and Canada. He figured if he could get to a tower he could angle it and point at the mirror at a 45 degree angle, then you can rebound it off the earth and have enough of a signal to correspond with a satellite, then a simple 911 works. But they didn’t need to do much really, just hop in one of the vehicles and get on out of the town.
With sunshine came reprieve. The beasts hated the bright light from above. They weren’t really beasts I guess. They were humans at one point I guess. Sara had been puzzling her head all into a bother about it. She just couldn’t figure it out. They were humans, she even recognized some of them she had seen before by their clothes. Or by what was left of their clothes. They were hunched over in the shadow of the trees snoring. Of course they would snore. Most of them were men, or had been men. Some girls would claim that the beasts were just normal men anyways, just more guttural and violent than normal. Then it happened. The guys went and checked the vehicles.. and none of them worked. Every single spark plug in every vehicle was gone. Could the beasts be that clever? Is it possible that they retained some mental capacity? But they were utter primeval. They couldn’t have opened the locked cars and sprung the hoods taken out the spark plugs, and then closed and locked everything back up. Someone out of the group had to have done this as a practical joke. It sure wasn’t funny anymore. Who did this?
Shock registered on the guys faces. Chad spoke up, “Dude, what idiot stole the spark plugs!?! If you don’t give them back, you are so dead.” Ben snickered sarcastically, “Dude, if we don’t find the spark plugs we are all dead.”
Elisabeth and Kim noticed all the expressions. Chad was frustrated, Chris was puzzled, no duh, it didn’t make logical excuse. Matt and Jay were puzzled, and Michael was angry. Ben had this look, of utter darkness that if you looked really deeply into, you would swear you saw hell inside. Hell is being alone with only your memories to keep you company, and they aren’t the pleasant ones, they are your mistakes the things you wish you could take back. And you are forever alone.
Michael spoke up. “What if it was one of the others? We’d never find it then.”
Chris spoke up logically.”We don’t even know if it was one of us. We aren’t going to get it fixed by arguing over it. Anybody got any extra sparkplugs?”
Elisabeth ducked her head and frantically dug in her purse. She promptly pulled out 6 spark plugs. “Will these work?”

A Week with Homeschoolers Part 19

Part 19 Secrets revealed

Ben shouldered a jacket on and his eyes smoldered. Then he walked into the other room and grabbed a rifle. He walked up the stairs and disappeared. The group of people milled around discussing escape options. Chad suggested that they wait until morning and just drive out. See, these homeschoolers, for all their smarts, they continued to make mistakes involving common sense. Like putting hot cocoa mix in the cup b4 the hot water. Gee, or milk b4 the cereal. The car should have been a first idea. Oh well, just because you have an IQ of 140+ doesn’t mean that you have the common sense to tie your own shoes. There was this one guy in my basic.. well that is another story for another day. Then they proceeded to do a very homeschool thing, hug and cry, over a game of spoons. Carol and Scarlett sat and hugged each other, and then they went upstairs. In Carol’s room , Scarlett and Carol prayed and went through some of Klaus’ things. After about an hour they heard a crack.

“Did you hear that? I think that I have heard that 4 times this last hour.” Carol cocked her head. “lets check it out”

They went into the hallway and they heard the crack again from the adjoining room. “Do you think it is the beasts breaking in?” Scarlett gripped her 38 snub nose and cocked the hammer back while easing the door slightly open. She squinted and pointed the pistol at a dark figure by the window.

“If you are going to shoot me with that, pull it back one more time. It’s on safe now” Scarlett blushed in embarrassment.

How could she do that? She walked in with Carol and the two of them sat on the bed as Ben relaxed and sat up, putting the rifle on the side. Ben got up and sat down on the bed and hugged Carol as she broke into tears again. When she stopped crying Ben started talking.

“I had a girl I talked with a long time ago. I fell in love with her. 5'6, funny, stylish, yet kinda shy but would open up when she knew you, loved God, comical, loved babies, loved to cook, read, make things, had a real sympathy for people and wanted to make them feel better. Affectionate and caring, yet would tease a bit, loved everyone and yet strong, emotional (in a good way)...She was everything I ever wanted but I rushed it. I wanted more. I ended up hurting her deeply. I waited a year, then I tried again. Her dad told me that b4 I could talk to his daughter again I had to work on so much. I sent letters for 6 months to the dad before he gave me permission to talk to Ava again. I began to court her when he gave me permission. It was awesome and we really grew in God. We got engaged and had a whirlwind courtship. We got married 2 years ago and she got pregnant with a baby boy. It was awesome. I was so happy. 2 months into our marriage we were walking in the park and a drive by shooting happened. I covered Ava with my body but I was too late. My wife died in my arms and I couldn’t do anything! She didn’t say anything to me, just died. I couldn’t get over it for several months. Today is the 2nd year anniversary. I miss her so much. I just want her back to hold her and tell her I love her.”

Scarlett and Carol were shocked. Why had they never been told? Why did they not know? Tears flowed down Ben’s face as he continued. “I have failed, I couldn’t keep anyone safe, Klaus, Charlyn, a lot of people are dead, and I think we all going to die. I am trying so hard, but I am failing so miserably. What do I do? What can I do? I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to be strong but I feel so inadequate. I know I need to be a man, but I want to be held and this to end.”

Scarlett just hugged Ben and they had a group hug. You can’t say much when stuff like that happens. They all went downstairs again and rejoined the group. A couple of the group, Kim, Chad, and Michael were keeping an eye on but the beasts had retreated. Ben divided the group into shifts despite Matt’s angry disturbances. The ones not on shift went to an uneasy sleep. I know Homeschoolers going to bed b4 the sun goes up is weird. Oh well, this wasn’t a normal reunion.

Part 18 A week with Homeschoolers

Part 18 Besieged
The figure behind the beast crossed his arms, muscles rippling and knives dripping blood as the beast head rolled away. Frank looked up, “Cool! Where did you learn that move?”
Ben snarled, “The Chronicles of Riddick, Escape from Butcher Bay”
Frank looked puzzled as he tried to revive Carol. Ben walked over wiping some of the blood off of his knives and sheathed them. He bent over and started slapping Carol’s hands. “Come on, we have to head back now. We can return and bury them in the morning, when we have tools.”
They heard a shot, startled they looked up towards the direction of the hotel. It was time to move. Carol didn’t wake up, so Ben picked her up and through her over his shoulder. Frank picked up the extra shotgun and they headed back.

Michael spoke up. “I see something!!!” He racked his rifle and sighted down. His finger tightened and his 30-30 rocked and he levered in another round. “I missed.” He sighed
Then they heard the howls and hoots again. Bekah and the other girls started crying, yes even Kim started crying. Bekah was shaking and went into hysterics. Sara hugged Bekah and sobbed uncontrollably. Scarlett ran over to Matt and just wanted to be held. The other girls who could followed suit. Sara and Kim hugged each other and cried yet more as the howls and hoots got louder and more frequent. Chris muttered as he tried everything possible to try and get his Cell card to work, or Klaus’ Sat Phone, neither of which worked. It was so wrong. Even the wireless and phone lines for the hotels were down. The power lines and phone and internet could be down, maybe even the Cell towers had malfunctioned. All of them at the same time were suspicious but the Sat phone was downright disturbing. There had to be a short circuit somewhere! Or worse, someone had somehow drawn a communication umbrella over the whole area cutting off everything. It was possible to do it, theoretically. He had only heard on some of his backwater chats that it was suspected that the government could do it with a laser in the atmosphere, turning it into a radio mirror. But why would they block this podunk town. He checked anyways. There was deff something blocking his connection. He poked at it a bit. Yup, someone had placed this umbrella over it all. Now what? He would figure it out!! Finally a challenge worth his mastery of Cyberspace! Chris reached for his bag of illegal hack tricks.
Chad fired twice. The others fired too. “They are closing in!” Elisabeth grabbed a shotgun and ran to a window where she fired off her entire magazine missing everything except the antique sign, which she riddled. The dark figures ran about as the others inside the hotel started wasting ammo with little success.
“Stop!!” Scarlett screamed and knocked away Matt’s gun. “Carol, Frank and Ben are out there. We might hit them.”
“Serve Ben right if he did end up dead.” Matt put down the rifle. “Well can’t be sure I hit anything anyways, what are those things?”
Everyone stopped firing and just watched. The beasts stayed out of the light horizon. They did wonder how the others would get back, if any of the other party would get back, if any one would survive.

The sounds of gunfire echoed off the surrounding mountains as Ben carried Carol back. Well, he didn’t carry her like you see in the movies, but he carried her like a sack of grain, way easier. They hurried back as quick as they could. It was a good thing that Carol was as light as she was or Ben would have never been able to make it back. He really wasn’t Superman if you hadn’t figured it out by now. The firing stopped. Ben panicked and looked at Frank.
“Do you think they are? We need to get back now.”
The two of them started running, panting heavily as they covered the ground. Frank held up his hand and Ben lowered Carol gently to the ground. He checked her pulse and breathing then the actions and clips on his weapons. Frank did the same. Ben did a very ungentlemanly thing and proceeded to sling Carol over his muscular back then fashioned a sling around her feet and chest so she was like a giant bandolier. Ben hollered that he was back and they started to run towards the hotel. As soon as Ben yelled the beasts that were running around the hotel stopped. They saw Ben and Frank running hell bent for leather. Then the beasts moved in screaming and running. Frank, while running, started to use his shotgun like it was an extension of his arm. Ben pulled his twin 45s and started firing. One shot one kill. Frank dropped his shotgun and unslung the one Ben had given him and blasted a nearby thing. It was an aggressive thing, not the thing that Elisabeth shot. That poor sign.
Inside they all heard a “Hello the Hotel!” Kim grabbed a rifle and ran to the back window. Every one readied their weapons and were at their posts and Scarlett ran to the door. Kim leveled her rifle and squeezed off a round. Scarlett swung open the door as Ben and Frank ran in. Ben accidentally swung Carols head into the door frame… waking her up rudely.
The guys fired a few more rounds off as the others gathered around Ben, Carol, and Frank. The others took in the sight of the three. Carol shook herself awake while rubbing her head. “Ouch…” then she burst into tears. Scarlett just hugged her as everyone realized that the other party was all dead.
Matt clenched his fists in anger as he saw the blood all spattered over his sister, then the slight matter of gore besmirching Frank, then all the blood covering Ben. He was a bloody man indeed. Ben would be the death of them all.
Ben dropped his clips and reloaded, chambering a round in each. Then he spoke up, “There are tons of those things out there, I think we are besieged.”

A Week with Homeschoolers Part 16&17

These parts do include violence. Viewer discretion advised.

Part 16 Oops!
Peter turned the light around showing several figures lurking behind trees. Klaus aimed and fired sending one of them spinning as the beast/human let out a howl of pain, 3 figures bounded out from the trees, one with long wild flowing hair. The man beasts if you could call them men, t-posts in hand, were howling in rage as they charged. Peter flashed the light in the eyes of the bigger man beast as Mark jumped one to grapple it. Klaus fired at the blinded man-beast and sent it spinning backwards, the female-beast bore down on Abi and hit her hard, I guess the female beast was very jealous of superior beauty. Charlyn screamed as the beast ripped at Abi mauling her friend. Charlyn then acted in bravery and proceeded to beat the female beast with her purse. All it did was enrage the female so she jumped Charlyn. Klaus could do nothing because the man beast was rolling around on the ground with Mark. Mark was losing and the female beast was among the women folk, while Klaus was bewildered, he was grabbed from behind and his arms pinioned. Klaus dropped his gun and then swung a elbow into the beast groin facilitating a quick release. Klaus did his first ever tactical roll and grabbed the gun in the process. He came up on his knees and blew the beast in half. Gotta love a shotgun. Then Klaus buttstroked Marks adversary as Charlyn and Abi started fighting the female for real. Charlyn was very, very angry. The female beast had destroyed 5 lbs of Swiss chocolate. The female beast was going to die for that. Personally I was betting on C. 10 to 1 odds anyways. Klaus shot the beast as mark rolled away and racked his gun. The female beast hooted frantically as Abi’s fingers closed around it’s throat. Darkened figures jumped from the bushes.
Michael stopped the party as they were gathering lights, guns, and food, everything they needed. “I hear a shot! Everyone stopped and counted. One, two. Then two more. Barely could they hear animal screams and howls. Then some female screams echoed.
Bekah sobbed and held onto the other girls. Carol had a horrified look on her face as she reached out for her daughter Scarlett. Michael spoke up. “Chris, how many rounds did you have in your gun? I counted 5 so far.”
“That’s all I had in there.”
Ben jumped up and straped on dual shoulder 45 holsters and grabbed a shotgun. “Frank, I need you to show me the way. They must have taken the other fork. Chris, Kim, Scarlett, Elisabeth, you know firearms, stay and hold this hotel for us. If we aren’t back in 2 hours we are dead. Continue without us.
Matt spoke up, since when did God die and you became boss Ben? I say Freddy and I come along and you stay back. And from now on, I call the shots. Not you Ben, your bright idea got Jay killed and the others are probably dead too!! You are going to get us all killed if you continue. The two of you can’t make it alone!” Matt’s voice dwindled as he realized that Ben had completely ignored him and was handing out firearms to each of the party.
Frank grabbed a spotlight but Ben motioned it down. “Don’t you have any NVGs? Ok grab them, lets go now”
Carol grabbed Ben’s arm. “Please let me come, my husband is out there. Maybe he’s dead. Please, let me come along.”
Ben wiped his eyes, “give her a pair of NVGs and a shotgun. We use silencers.”
Carol let go and grabbed what Frank held out. They headed out but Matt ran up and grabbed Ben by his left arm. “You aren’t taking my sis, and I’m sick of you ordering us around! Now,” Ben swung a fist into Matt’s chin snapping the flapping jaw shut.
Ben stepped out and took point.
Scarlett helped Matt up as Matt rubbed his injured jaw. No one said a thing but as Chris monkeyed with a backup generator. Finally the lights turned on as the generator kicked on. They had a perimeter of light for mayb e 100 yds. Michael, Freddy, Chris and matt each took a corner to watch. The girls got together in on a couch and just hugged each other and cried. Chad swapped out with Chris so Chris could figure out some way to reach the outside world for help. Police, FBI, Firemen, somebody to help with this situation.
Was there any hope?

Part 17 Love and Revenge.
Ben and Frank slipped throught woods silently as they slipped towards the last sound that they had heard. Ben, ball cap backwards NVGs on saw a beast ahead. He put the gun down and reached for his hidden dagger between his shoulder blades. He slipped up behind the beast then grabbed the beast and inserted his knife in between the top two vertebrae and into the brain. But even then the beast continued to struggle then a liver stab then front to where the beast’s heart should have been, finally it slipped down to die. Carol leaned over and threw up. Frank wondered, but continued on.

In the small clearing Klaus twitched and breathed his last. Mark crawled over to Carrie and held her head in his Hands. “Carrie, I wanted to say,” but she barely lifted her hand up
“I have something to say, I had a baby, triplets. I had a dear friend, Sophie, her husband and her couldn’t have kids, so they needed a foster womb, I volunteered mine. It wasn’t one, ti was three. I was so afraid that if I told you, you wouldn’t want me. I should have told you long ago.”
Mark kissed his wife, “I knew, they told me, I love you anyways, I’ve loved you along, And I,” Mark coughed and died.
One tear rolled down Carrie’s face as she too closed her eyes.
Ben, Frank and Carol walked in the clearing, Ben dropped to his knees and cried like a baby as Carol ran to Klau and cradled his head. Ben got up and hugged Carol as they both sobbed. Ben took his 45 from his left shoulder holster and walked into the woods. He cocked the 45 and put the barrel in his mouth. Tears ran down his face as he realized how wrong he was. He had killed everyone. Everyone would die because of him. Frank put a hand on his arm.
“Son, don’t do this, it’s not your fault. You’ve kept the others alive. They are safe for now. I can’t pull them through this by myself. You are the only one that I can trust. We’ve maybe killed 20 of them, my friends, what’s left of my family. There should be 207 population. Now if they have all turned into these monsters, I don’t need anyone killing himself cause he’s having a pity party. Now be a man and finish the job.”
Ben ashamed lowered the hammer and put the gun away. “Now go help your mum, she’s mighty in need of comfort. Ben walked over and hugged Carol as they cried together. Frank pulled the bodies together and then the clothed over their faces. All around Ape figures closed in, they hesitated. They smelled fear in two, and pure anger in one, rage. They hesitated and started out to kill the lst ones when one, the long haired one broke into a Beautifu noise. Water came out of her eyes as she sang as she had never sung b4. The beasts sat down and enjoyed the free solo as the angry one turned around.
“Ben talked to Frank, “look at them, you stay and protect Carol, I’m going mad.” He put down his Pump shotgun and pulled out his knife from his shoulder blades and another one from the small of his back. He disappeared into the woods. Carol continued to sing as beast after beast were yanked bawkwards into the woods and cold heartedly dispatched by a mad man. Carol finished her song and collapsed. The last man beast jumped up in surprise. The Beautiful voice had stopped! Then Pain entered in form all different sides. Darkness covered his sight.

A Week with homeschoolers Part 15

Part 15 Suspense
The rest of the guys, excluding Ben, gathered around Jed and took pictures or stared in shock, depending on their orientation. Ben took charge of the situation and sent half of the group back to the hotel to arm up and get stuff packed up for the move to the Water treatment plant. Klaus, Mark, Carrie, Charlyn, Abi, Mark, and Peter went in the party to go grab more supplies. The rest would catch up later as they carried Jay along and cared for him.
Klaus carried the gun that Chris had given him as he lead the party to the safe area After about 5 minutes the party came to the fork in the road. Then they had a problem, which one was the right road? Well the one on the right was the right but which one was the correct one? Klaus said the left, Carrie said the right… Klaus being the gentleman, concurred only after 3 minutes of argument in which he arraigned Carrie’s doctrinal beliefs on the trinity at least three times.. They headed right and they moved on. The road got smaller, then turned into a path. The path dwindled into a brushy woody tangle.
“One fork in a Podunk little town, and we get lost.” Klaus snickered. “We had better turn around and head back. Told you that the Trinity was a myth.”
Then some of the bushes rustled. It wasn’t the wind. Mark looked around and swallowed. Carrie hugged him nervously. He patted her head and hugged her back. Abi reached out and grabbed Peter’s hand and gently squeezed it. Love shines best when there is a threat.
Abi spoke up, “Which way is back?” A deafening howl of bloodthirstiness arose from the surrounding woods.
“Oh snap, crackle and pop” Klaus said as he racked the gun.

“One, Two, Three” “Lift!”
Ben held C-spine and called it out as they rolled Jay carefully onto his back. Jay gasped in pain slowly exhaling. Scarlett took Ben’s and Chris rolled up suitcoats and put them on either side of Jays head. Then she took Ben’s belt, and put it as a strap around Jays head to hold his head in place. That done, Ben, Chris, Matt, and Freddy, each got at a corner to lift the improvised stretcher.
“One, Two, Three , lift!” They grunted as they lifted up Jay and started back to the hotel. Halfway there Jay screamed and went limp.
“One, Two, Three, down!” Frank quickly took his pulse.
“He’s slipping!” Ben tore Jay’s shirt open and started chest compressions. Sara started mouth to mouth. Despite all their efforts Jay passed away. Ben pounded his fist on the ground. “S*#@! Not again!”
Ben and the others stood up as Sara broke into tears. Tears formed in each eye, even the hardened Kim wept some. The shock was overwhelming as some of them realized that more horrible things would come to pass unless they did something. And they didn’t know what to do. None of them really knew how bad it would get before the end. Them’s that die be the lucky ones.
Freddy drew part of the bunny outfit over Jays face closing his eyes. Ben took charge again and started them back for the Hotel. A seed of resentment formed in Matt’s heart over the way that Ben was assuming charge all the time. He muttered under his breath and continued to carry the stretcher. Finally they got back to the hotel and noticed the silence. Where were the others?

and more quiet times 71-80

Hebrews 5 I see how much I need to learn. I want meat.. but I think I need more milk sometimes.. maybe I should get some adult teeth in soon.
God indeed is a present strength and shelter. When all around seems to give way.. He is my hope and stay. I hope that I will find all I need him him. May you find all you need in Him through our High priest.

What do you all think of this?

Hebrews 6:1Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, 2Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment. 3And this will we do, if God permit. 4For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, 5And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, 6If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. 7For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God: 8But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned. 9But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak. 10For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister. 11And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end: 12That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. 13For when God made promise to Abraham, because he could swear by no greater, he sware by himself, 14Saying, Surely blessing I will bless thee, and multiplying I will multiply thee. 15And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise. 16For men verily swear by the greater: and an oath for confirmation is to them an end of all strife. 17Wherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: 18That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: 19Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; 20Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.

I think that it is saying that we should never neglect the work of God. We need to stay strong and focused in God. If we have the hope of God shown unto us and are not bold to live it, we will be cast off. Not that we shall lose our salvation, but more that we will not be used. I think that that is one of the greatest tragedies, that ehne we get to heaven, there will be some who are saved, like Billy Graham who are going to have glorious crowns and honors for what they have done here on earth, but I think that there will be far more like me who will have enjoyed their life down here and were in the comfort zone and will not have crowns.. and for all of eternity we will weep that we wasted out lives down here. Now that i hold this view I need to go and do something unless I truly neglect what has been shown unto me.

May God bless you all today as you seek him. May we all forgive one another and search whole heartedly for him
Hebrews 7: 19For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope did; by the which we draw nigh unto God. 20And inasmuch as not without an oath he was made priest: 21(For those priests were made without an oath; but this with an oath by him that said unto him, The Lord sware and will not repent, Thou art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec:) 22By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better testament. 23And they truly were many priests, because they were not suffered to continue by reason of death: 24But this man, because he continueth ever, hath an unchangeable priesthood. 25Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them. 26For such an high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens; 27Who needeth not daily, as those high priests, to offer up sacrifice, first for his own sins, and then for the people's: for this he did once, when he offered up himself. 28For the law maketh men high priests which have infirmity; but the word of the oath, which was since the law, maketh the Son, who is consecrated for evermore.
I believe this is saying That although Jesus was not a priest by law, he was not of the tribe of Levi, he was our high priest by another law.. the selection of God. And He won't die and end the process. Yet hsi sacrifice was it, we are not bound to continually atone for ourselves. This is amazing! With one act.. God became flesh, God in man took upon Him the sin of the world and we may approach boldy b4 the throne of God.
Hebrews 8:1Now of the things which we have spoken this is the sum: We have such an high priest, who is set on the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in the heavens; 2A minister of the sanctuary, and of the true tabernacle, which the Lord pitched, and not man. 3For every high priest is ordained to offer gifts and sacrifices: wherefore it is of necessity that this man have somewhat also to offer. 4For if he were on earth, he should not be a priest, seeing that there are priests that offer gifts according to the law: 5Who serve unto the example and shadow of heavenly things, as Moses was admonished of God when he was about to make the tabernacle: for, See, saith he, that thou make all things according to the pattern shewed to thee in the mount. 6But now hath he obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also he is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises. 7For if that first covenant had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second. 8For finding fault with them, he saith, Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: 9Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt; because they continued not in my covenant, and I regarded them not, saith the Lord. 10For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people: 11And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. 12For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more. 13In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away.

This is the sum of all that has been said b4. We have a new mediator, one that fulfills all the requirements, we are free to live for God without trying to atone for our sins. The old law was set so that we could never atone for them in and of ourselves. It's not like GOd was a big bad dude always hitting people in the old testament, nor was he only showing love to the Jews. He set a system that showed us that we could never atone for ourselves and made us long for the One who would redeem us. In matthew 1, you see that Salmon beget Boaz out of Rachab and Boaz beget Obed out fo Ruth. THat right there is proof that God in the old testament is the same GOd in the New testament. Or as people dvide Him up. God of the old Testament had stern laws yet he allowed a whore and a moabitess to have part of His lineage. He had compassion then, and he has Compassion now. A repentant heart He does not despise. May we all have a repentant heart though.
Proverbs 14: 12There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Hebrews 9: 1Then verily the first covenant had also ordinances of divine service, and a worldly sanctuary. 2For there was a tabernacle made; the first, wherein was the candlestick, and the table, and the shewbread; which is called the sanctuary. 3And after the second veil, the tabernacle which is called the Holiest of all; 4Which had the golden censer, and the ark of the covenant overlaid round about with gold, wherein was the golden pot that had manna, and Aaron's rod that budded, and the tables of the covenant; 5And over it the cherubims of glory shadowing the mercyseat; of which we cannot now speak particularly. 6Now when these things were thus ordained, the priests went always into the first tabernacle, accomplishing the service of God. 7But into the second went the high priest alone once every year, not without blood, which he offered for himself, and for the errors of the people: 8The Holy Ghost this signifying, that the way into the holiest of all was not yet made manifest, while as the first tabernacle was yet standing: 9Which was a figure for the time then present, in which were offered both gifts and sacrifices, that could not make him that did the service perfect, as pertaining to the conscience; 10Which stood only in meats and drinks, and divers washings, and carnal ordinances, imposed on them until the time of reformation. 11But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; 12Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. 13For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: 14How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? 15And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first testament, they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance. 16For where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator. 17For a testament is of force after men are dead: otherwise it is of no strength at all while the testator liveth. 18Whereupon neither the first testament was dedicated without blood. 19For when Moses had spoken every precept to all the people according to the law, he took the blood of calves and of goats, with water, and scarlet wool, and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book, and all the people, 20Saying, This is the blood of the testament which God hath enjoined unto you. 21Moreover he sprinkled with blood both the tabernacle, and all the vessels of the ministry. 22And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission. 23It was therefore necessary that the patterns of things in the heavens should be purified with these; but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these. 24For Christ is not entered into the holy places made with hands, which are the figures of the true; but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us: 25Nor yet that he should offer himself often, as the high priest entereth into the holy place every year with blood of others; 26For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. 27And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: 28So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.

I think that there are two big points in this passage that stands out to me. first the old covenant, all the thigns God set up, the alters, the candlesticks are truly awe inspiring. They were the best that Israel had to offer. and it was truly awesome. I can only imagine that sight. The Glory of God in a human dwelling. It's beyond words. Yet all that glory was not enough. I could not as an OT man be fully atoned once and forever. As glorious as they were, they were made by man.Then Came God in man and he fulfilled the needs of sinful man. The other part is that we have one life to live now, Let us live it all for Him and look for him diligently.
Have you ever felt dead? Spiritually? I know I have. Often I wonder if I am living a spirit lived life. I don't think so. If I am.. why do I struggle so much? I am living my own life.
Romans 12: 1I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Have I done that? Am I a living sacrifice? Am I acceptable to God? I think this fits in closely with Eternal security. We don't need to do good things to keep our salvation, we are called to good things because we are not our own. We are vessels of the most powerful force ever. God that can be in us. The Holy Spirit. May we all live Spirit filled lives

ETERNAL SECURITY
Can we as born again believer lose our salvation? This is a question that I see many Christians disagreeing on. I also believe it is one of the most important points of the Christian faith.

If we don't believe that we have eternal security as Christians why are we Christians?
If we can lose our salvation, can we gain it back? Can we find it? Or have we lost it forever?
What are the sins whereby we can lose them? Is The bible clear on this?
If we can regain our salvation.. is it anything we can do? Do I have to work to maintain my salvation?
What about the verses where it says we can lose our salvation?

I'm not going to ridicule the people I know and their opinions, what I am going to do in this email is attempt to explain what I believe and why I believe it in the spirit of 1 Peter 3:15. However, i must be very careful what I say and preach for "Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven." It is very important for me to not preach falsely.

First off, why do we need to be saved, and from what do we need to be saved?
Romans 5:12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:
We have all sinned by Adam. We were all of Adam when he sinned therefore we share in his sin.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
We all have sinned and deserve death. But there is a solution. Eternal life through Christ Jesus.
How do we get it? How do we attain This eternal life? In the words of the Roman Jailer, "what must I do to be saved?"
We all are doomed to death because of our sin. Sin requires death.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son so that no one would perish, but have everlasting life through Jesus Christ his Son.
There is the solution. Someone paid the death for us.
So we just need to accept it eh? That's it.. Nope, I believe we, I, myself can do nothing to get or accept God's gift ecept God gave me the grace to believe.
Ephesians 2:8-9For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:Not of works, lest any man should boast.
God gave me the grace to believe, and I didn't do anything of myself to gain my salvation.
Romans 8:29-30For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
God has chosen those who will be saved and conformed. I see that I can do nothing to gain my salvation. It was God in his mercy who chose me from the dead and breathed His breath into me and ahs given me life and a future when I had no future.

Then if I did nothing to gain my salvation can I lose it? Can something mere man does revoke what God has done?
Jesus said in John 10:28:30 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.I and my Father are one.
God has given me eternal life, there is nothing that can take me away from Him, that means nothing I can do either.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Nothing!
But what if we do sin? And habitually? Is being saved forever an excuse for me to do whatever I want and still go to Heaven? Is saved once, always saved really a license for immorality?
In John, Jesus says my sheep follow me. If we are Christains, we follow God.
Romans 6-8 is pretty clear on this.
Romans 6:What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? 2God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? 3Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? 4Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. 5For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: 6Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. 7For he that is dead is freed from sin. 8Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: 9Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. 10For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.
Because I am freed from sin and I am given a love for God, I must hate sin and Love God. I don't have an reason to live ofr myself I have the liberty to live free of the burden of sin so I can can live all for God.
11Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. 12Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. 13Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. 14For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. 15What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. 16Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? 17But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. 18Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. 19I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness. 20For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. 21What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. 22But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. 23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
We don't have a choice. This is so clear. What we do tells who we serve. If I sin I say i am a servant of sin. I can't do that for I am a servant of God, I am a slave to righteousness. I have no choice in the matter. The only thing I can do is live now as a servant of God. I can't change who I serve anymore than I can change the color of my eyes. Besides, why would I want to serve sin? The end of sin is death. I have life.

Romans 7:1Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. 4Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. 5For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. 6But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
We are bound to serve God. We are delivered from sin. I do not see anywhere that I of myself can do anything to revoke what GOd hath wrought.

7What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. 8But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence. For without the law sin was dead. 9For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died. 10And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death. 11For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it slew me. 12Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good. 13Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful. 14For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. 16If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. 17Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 18For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 21I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

This right here is the answer to the question, Can a Christian sin and lose his salvation. Paul says It's not me, the spiritual me which sins but my old flesh, the sinful desires! As A Christian we aren't always freed from those desires when we become saved, it's the Christian challenge to purify ourselves and to live For Christ. In Our body there are two of us.. the old man who still desires to do the wrong things and the new man who is one with Christ, let us submit all of our body to the Holy Spirit and put away our old man.
Romans 8:1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 5For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. 8So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. 9But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. 10And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
We have no condemnation so long as we strive to live for Christ.

12Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. 13For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. 14For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. 15For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. 16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: 17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. 18For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. 20For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 21Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. 23And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. 24For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? 25But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. 26Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them be also glorified. 31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. 34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We are God's adopted children! No matter what we do He will always be our father. Let us look forward to that hope! God is indeeed for us. who can be against us? Nothing can separate me from the love of God.

Yet once again, I say. This is not a license for us to do anything we want to. We are called, no we are slaves and have a duty to live and crucify ourselves for Him. Yet, when we do sin, and yes I do sin.

1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

We have to confess them and repent, not be remorseful but turn from our ways.

Why do I not believe that I could lose my salvation? Because the Gospel's message is never about me, It's about Christ and what he does in us. For me to say that I do anything to gain, keep, or maintain my salvation is me preaching salvation by works. I preach not Christ but man. For me to believe that I can do anything in myself to gain/keep my salvation is heresy.

The farmer sowed seed upon ground. some ground was too hard and the seed was taken from them, others accepted the seed yet bore not fruit and then died fruitless, and one type bore much fruit. 3 types of ground had the seed in them. 3 types of Ground was saved, one finished well. I need to finish well as I am called to. I am not a thorn, I am a wheat stalk. :P

Let us all bear good fruit so that people can easily say of us, "There is a Christian"

Am I sinning? Yes I do, and I know that I suffer for it. Sometimes I'd rather not suffer but it seems that it is good.
Hebrews 12: 1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Not only is it time to move on and lay aside every encumbering weight. That means everything. I really believe that Hebrews is very crucial to the church today. Too often it's grace preached to the excess of that we may sin freely Paul is very clearly saying that that is playing with fire. We can't lose our salvation but God will spit us out if we provoke him. We have the same God as the one who told the Israelites to mass slaughter whole peoples. Why should we provoke him? We need to not flaunt our liberty. Paul is reminding us something very crucial. Our God is not all love and mercy. He is an all consuming fire. We have 2 options We can abide by his love and serve Him because we love him because he first loved us, or we should serve him because we fear the God who can destroy us as he destroyed those who mocked Him and sent bears to maim scoffing boys. We as the children of God do not have a Father who ignores us and our sins, but grieves and cares for us. The only thing that stands between us and His fiery wrath is the blood of His son. O may I never take it lightly.
The moe I look at the parables of Jesus I see how much I can learn from them and how much I don't understand about them. Hopefully this is a new twist on an old story.
Luke 15:11And he said, A certain man had two sons: 12And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. 13And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living. 14And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want. 15And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. 17And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, 19And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. 20And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. 22But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry. 25Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. 26And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. 27And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. 28And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. 29And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: 30But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. 31And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. 32It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

We've all heard this a million times, the son runs off and comes back.
He sees he doesn't deserve to be a son, he begs to be a servant. Yet His father doesn't want that. His son is always His son. Yet the Son abandoned him didn't want to be a part of the family anymore, wanted out. Yet he was still a son, he came back and was welcomed home. Then what did he lose? Did he have any punishment? What is an appropriate punishment for such action? The son was clear.. he didn't deserve to be called a son. but nope his punishment was that he wasted his inheritance and wasted his life. I believe it's the same with our Christian life. No matter what happens we are still God's children. but let us not take that lightly
Sin is very serious. yet..
the thing to not do is for me to judge those who ahve gone away and have come back. It's not my place to judge anyone. or get mad because someone can do so much and yet get forgiveness. Let us if we are either one of these sons, repent and stay close to the Father and our brothers.

I started reading Acts with some others and as I read through it I see this degree of comradery and fellowship. "while they were all of one accord" Too often I see and hear about all these different denominations. Why can't we be of one accord? DO we not all worship the same God? If we all seek Him, no matter if we are Catholic, Jew, or Greek Orthodox, and the more we kill our earthly selves, shouldn't we all get more of a common doctrine? Or is it what it seems.. most of the denomination worship religon and mammon.. and not God? As Christians we should be the last to get in a fight over something trivial.. such as the color of the carpet or whether it's ok to get drums for the youth. "sides, Church should be about God.. not human ministries and outreach programs. God's wpord is the most powerful influence known to man.. it needs no wrapping paper.
Let us Get back to the Bible and back to God. Let others see Jesus in us.