Sisyphus

Straining every moral fibre
for to rest is to slip
a slip is a fall-a failure
around my tired frame fallen brothers
ones left behind in their Sisyphean
challenge to fail alone emboldened
by fear I press on
Straining
Striving
Failing

Everyday I am the same
Will I ever change or
will I stay this way
another Sisyphus pushing uphill

Exhausted I strain bleeding
for each forward step I take
this burden I push growing
heavier each moment-others
stop to help-or so saying
they state encouragement or
help push a little then moving
uphill I go faster-often my
brothers 'side me climbing
on my burden casting
adding
hating
Judging

Everyday I am the same
Will I ever change or
will I stay this way
another Sisyphus pushing uphill

I push on-giving my all
stubbornly, angrily, frustrated
wanting to give up why is this
so hard-jaded-I believe my fate
not realizing my problem all
along is me finally I acknowledge
the need for His help not for
more strength but for Him to
take this burden away
Asking
Begging
Pleading

Everyday I am the same
Will I ever change or
will I stay this way
another Sisyphus pushing uphill

Stopping-gasping for air wondering
where He is-seeing Him where
He has been all this time-here
falling to my knees-almost crushed
by this mammoth burden crying out not
for strength but for deliverance
He reaches out with one hand-grasping
my burden so effortlessly-His other
hand-so strong-so gentle-lifting
me from my battered knees-at
His touch my burden shrinks
to nothing-wiping away my blood
tears and sweat then leading
me up the hill we go
Resting
Following
Trusting

Everyday I am the same
I am changed I am in His
way casting all cares on Him
running uphill-Sisyphus no longer

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A knight in sullied armor

My mom really dislikes that I refer to myself sometimes as a sullied knight. I've called myself a knight in sullied armor. This may strike may people a little wird, but what I am saying is a reflection of how I believe we should live.I am not a knight in shining armor. I do not have the time to sit and polish and buff my armor. My armor is dented and stained. It has many holes in it, it has entrenched sweat stains, and it has a few blood stains and splatters of weird and mysterious origins. My armor is sullied, it is stained. I have some stains on my body too, a few scars both on my body and I believe on my soul. My sword is not perfect, nor is it shined and polished, it has some deep nicks and scratched in the blade, yet my blade is sharp and the stains it has on it are the stains of enemies, not my friends or companions.
Why is my armor so stained and dirty? Why do I wear sullied armor when all seek the knight in shining armor? I am battle ready, I train for the fight, I live for the day of battle because it is when you say you are done, when you turn to relax, it is then that your fow strikes. I do not battle with flesh that will give in or compromise, I battle with unseen foes that want to steal all that I hold dear. I have fought many times and lost many times, yet the more I fight, the better I get, for I fight under a Captain who is faithful and who has my back. Without him I would be dead. So I am a knight in sullied armor. I will continue ti fight and may my armor be soon covered with fresh stains nobly earned in the service of my Captain.
Do not see my armor and turn away as if it is a mark of disgrace, for I wear it as a trophy for it is earned in the service of my Captain.
Is your armor stained?