A Week with Homeschoolers

In no case is this story meant in any but a humorous light. Hope you all enjoy and are not offended. Please do not copy without permission

There sat an old man. He sat this one, fine day just as he had sat for the last 23 years, 4 months, and 2 days. And as he sat rocking, back and forth, chewing, he'd talk of politics, weather, old times, fish bait, and the like. But on this day, something happened that changed his world forever. No, it wasn't a meteor or a lightening strike, but a bus….

The dusty Greyhound slowed and screeched to a stop. The sliding door clanged open and disgorged a group of boisterous people. The old man’s chewing stopped…… started but stopped as he saw the long skirts and long hair and shock.. something he had only heard of before… horrors of horrors… the women were having intelligent conversations with some guys and the other girls… he swallowed his chaw.

Carol stepped off the bus D300 in hand, well it was a change, instead of two hands around her baby, it was one.. the other was hand in hand with Klause, and there was a huge ring on her hand, he had a matching one.. yup they were happily, no obliviously married. Klauss’ hand was intertwined with Carol’s free one.. and his other one was wrapped lovingly around Carol’s old D90, yes once his rival but no longer… just his minion.

Next was Kayla, arm in arm with Jared, Kayla was sporting an authentic edition of the hobbit in hopes that people would recognize her… not realizing that being a midget gave it all away. Jared.. well he was Jared… nothing more nothing less

The next two people who stepped off made the old geezers jaw hit the ground. A dainty foot enclosed in a spike high heel. His old eyes looked up and he gasped at the beauty that stepped out. She looked like a professional model. Her hair was done up in the most elegant up to date fashion and everything was glistening and in place. What befoggled the old man was not the sight before him, but the thought that there really were people stupid enough to travel in a bus for 1000 miles dressed so ridiculously. Right behind her came this scrawny boy/man wearing an oversized pair of aviators and a bulky leather jacket. The “Shades” were scanning the nonexistent crowds for a potential attacker or stalker.. he had a phone cord running from his collar to his ear. Despite his vigilance he missed the sign on his sister’s low backed dress.. that read FUTURE FIRST LADY.

“Kids these days,” The old man resumed his rocking but nothing would ever be the same again.

Fredster walked up to the old man who was talking to himself again.

“Where is the nearest Hotel?”

“Looks like it’s going to be a warm night tonight”

“Sir, the directions?”

“Haven’t seen a cloud formation like that since 1954, sure harbinger of rain”

“I’m talking to you old man!!”

“The wind is from the south… that is a sure sign of evil”

That stopped Freddy, well that and Klause pointed with his D90, “Look, says Old fashioned Hotel.” His heavy German accent caused Carol, his wife, to giggle; well, and take some more pictures.. of the old man in the rocking chair. Kayla and Jared were already headed down the street hand in hand… sigh, young love… well kinda young love. Epster headed down to as prettily as she could while Fredster scanned the empty shops for possible snipers. Carol shrieked.. “Look how cute that hotel is!” and promptly rattled off 23 shots. Klause took a picture of the Old Tyme Gas station. Yup.. one picture.. Carol hadn’t trained him all the way yet.. they’d only been married for 4 years. Ok, the first 3 and a half were spent training Santa to put the toilet seat down and to put his clothes in the hamper rather than as if he had been raptured.

As the couples walked in through the swinging wooden doors, well E and Freddy weren’t a couple.. they were just there, they saw a sign over the weathered hotel clerk’s counter. It read

Welcome HAS Chat! 1^st annual reunion in Piccadilly MO

Part 2, Superman

The counter was vacant.. which didn’t faze Carol or Klause any.. well no need to say what they were doing. Eppie was bored and everyone could see she thought the future first lady should not be kept waiting and Freddy’s vigilant eyes had still missed the sign… Kayla was still enthralled with Jared despite his childish fascination with the little bell. From the back came a stenetorian voice.. Read the note moron! And leave that dratted bell alone, it’s an antique!

“So is everything else in this blasted town,” Jared muttered “not even a decent pizza place.

Carol snapped a closeup of the note while reading it.. “important discussion in back, keep your britches on.”

Freddy listened aptly to the conversation in hopes that it was a conspiracy…

“So if we piped the dispersion back into a loop and then put some mixing plates just after the Coag injection point on our loop, we would have optimum coagulation?”

“Yes sirrie, here let me draw it out for you.”

“IT’S A BOMB PLAN!!!! Freddy yelled reaching for his holstered Mp90, wait that part was still in his imagination, He rushed in there screaming citizen’s arrest to see a portly middle-aged man and another guy examining some plans on a table. The other guy snapped up, glanced at Freddy, snickered and turned back to his drawing.. “Make a loop there… and”

“You are both under Citizens arrest for conspiracy to commit terrorist acts!”

The middle aged guy looked up, “Sonny where did you learn them newfangled words? The Fourth season of NCIS? I’m Frank, the sheriff of Piccadilly County. And this is no bomb” He chuckled and turned back to the drawing.

“The other guy spoke up.. Freddy is that a telephone cord behind your ear?”

Freddy was struck by lightning, well just about… he managed to stammer out a reply, “What are those plans? And who is this guy who knows my name?”

Frank answered in his nasal twang, “Diagrams for improvements in our water treatment plant. We are looking at boosting our plant to once every two weeks operation”

“Wait you are the Water boy and the Sheriff? And who is this guy? Freddie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously under his dark shades.

The man stood up revealing a tussled shock of hair above two gray eyes perched above a mischevious smile. Freddy gulped as he noticed the muscled torso barely concealed by the vivid shirt. “Superman?”

No Freddy, I picked up the shirt at Walmart. I’m Ben. “

Part Three, the meeting

Carol promptly rattled off 30 pictures and ran up and hugged Ben. Kayla came up and vindictively poked Ben in return for the midget jokes and all the cyber pokes. “My finger went in this much!” “Fat Check!” Elisabeth sneered as dignified as she could… Jared and Klause gathered around the drawing and proceeded to make educated comments. 8080 port, 15 degress, round about turn, their boy talk was interrupted by a dignified fashionable lady poised in such a way that outshined Epster.. “We are meeting here in the conference room, of you would like to come in or you can stay with Ben and the dear sheriff. The sheriff smiled as Carol rushed over and hugged Sara then took pictures of Sara in her stunning outfit. Sara was wearing knee high boots, and a white wrap dress, and a silver necklace with a black diamond pendant. Her hair flowed loosely in wild curls. Freddy’s mouth dropped open in shock… as E got a jealous look in her eyes… All of them filed into the conference room leaving Ben.aka superman and the sheriff behind.

There was Eric, Carrie, Matt, Scarlett, Jay, Chris, Bekah, Chad, Abi, Michael, Peter, Mark, and Charlyn. Haha, now I have to say who is married to whom or who is bf/gf with everyone…

First Carrie married to Mark… I know what a shock, Carrie was perfectly happy eating chocolate…. Scarlett was hand in hand with Matt, they were bf and gf, I know, another shock, Jay was single.. no surprise there, Michael and Bekah were hand in hand, Abi and Peter, Eric and Charlyn, and Chad was Sara’s husband. Eric was kissing every girl he could.. to the annoyance of all their bfs or husbands. Scarlett had grown into a lovely young lady and Matt was mature and talking about computer stuff with Chris, Chris was single along with Kim.. who was drawing guns and knives on the tablecloth, Abi and Peter were kissing.. Michael and Bekah were talking with Charlyn, the they all got up and mingled and said howdy and shook hands and had a lot of fun.. Jay was asleep on the couch. After about 15 minutes of talking Sara started handing out sheets of paper with a schedule on it.

Friday night-games and mingling, midnight walks included

Saturday morning, bfast at 10, for those interested at 6:30 Ben is leading a run… he should be around. But meet him outside the front door at 6:30 sharp. A little hike not led by Ben happens at 12 and will include a picnic.. then a hike led by Ben happens at 4, dinner and dancing starts at 6. Make sure to wear appropriate attire as it is a medieval dance. Sunday Morning we will have a group church then start leaving. Hope you all have a blast! Enjoy the local attractions.

A game of spoons started up… Chad was spanking everyone of course.. Kim ended up throttling him cause he stole hers. The little game of dutch blitz was won by Scarlett.. E sat and looked with disdain at all the trivial games.. there were charades… Whoever said Homeschoolers couldn’t have fun… oops Fredster dragged out the pinko.. the party was going downhill fast. They got together for a big game of signs.. and Scarlett noticed Ben was gone.. said something to Carol, and Carol went to get him. She saw him outside with something in his hand. The moon was out in full strength. Scarlett whispered.. what is he reading? They tiptoed outside.. Ben had his Bible open.. and there was a picture of a lovely girl there and Ben was crying. Carol coughed.. and Ben shut his bible fast and stood up, and quickly said… Pretty ladies in the moonlight.. flatters you both to the best.. but they didn’t laugh. They smiled and each of them took an arm and dragged him in.. then made him join in signs.. after about ten minutes… Carol and Scarlett walked aside.

“Carol, did you see what he had his bible open to?”

Carol swung her head in a no, Scarlett continued. “Psalms 51”

Part 4.. More surprises

The party progressed as Carol kept a watchful eye on everyone and took pictures.. but she didn’t see the dashing Chad slip out, nor Ben’s halfhearted attempts to play.. nor the upset look on Sara’s face.. Honestly she tried but Klause was too busy chucking her under the chin while gobbling up goodies and half heartedly taking pix.

Sara waited until no one was looking or so she thought and headed out. Ben however noticed… and from what he knew already, he figured he had better tag along. Ben was great at sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.. but then again so did Superman. If you haven’t noticed it Ben had an ego issue.. just cause he was the most fit person in hsachat didn’t give him room to be superman…

Ben followed Sara to the front of the hotel and watched as Sara stepped out and looked both ways tehn sighed and hung her head. Ben coughed delicately and Sara looked at Ben and nodded. Yes, I don’t know where he is.. but I’m sure he’s at it again. Ben nodded. Sara asked.. Can you help me? I don’t know where he went. Ben stepped outside and looked at the dirt.
“He went that way.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you could read signs”

“I can’t” as they walked towards a building that had a light on. Sara’s puzzled look disappeared as Ben explained.. “this is the only building in the town that has a light on.”

Ben stopped outside and watched through the window as Sara walked in. There were 3 men and Chad seated around a card table playing poker. Sara kicked over the table sending the marked cards flying then grabbed Chad’s arm and pulled him out. Ben disappeared quickly as they came out. “You promised you wouldn’t! I make enough that you don’t have to gamble, besides you have been losign steadily for the last 4 months! You have to stop!”

Chad kissed her, “Hun, I was winning, my luck has turned, it’s ok, I won’t do it again, sweetie.”

Sara sighed and leaned into Chad as they walked down the street. Ben followed as discreetly as he could as they fell in love again. As they neared the hotel Ben heard a car in the distance. He waited outside as Sara and Chad entered the hotel. The car drove up and stopped. A tall, dark, handsome man stepped out of the blue mustang and hurried around to the passenger door. He opened it and out stepped Sarah aka the tall princess. Sarah gracefully walked over to Ben and hugged him. “Good to see you Ben! Let me introduce you to my fiancé, Tom Rushford, known to you as Cricket.”

Part 5 Shock and awe

You could have knocked Ben over with a feather.. this dude was more bulked than him. Tom opened the door and they walked into the hotel. As they walked into the conference room, the noise subsided, all the girls looked in awe at Sarah’s man, and the guys looked at Tom’s muscles in envy. Sara came up first and introduced herself to Tom and the ice quickly broke. Carol took dozens of pictures again as she asked Sarah how she had met Tom.

“it’s really sad though, Tom was an Army Ranger in Iraq and was injured when an IED went off, the shrapnel damaged part of his brain, the social area incidentally. For a couple months he recovered then went to School at Letourneau to finish up his degree in Bioscience, where he met Chris, a fellow introvert. They became friends and Tom wanted to get out and meet more people so Chris helped him out and created Cricket, who we all thought was a bot. Because I was so nice to him, he wanted to meet me. Chris gave me a call, which I couldn’t believe him doing, and told me about Tom and how Tom wanted to meet me. Now Tom had done some film stuff as well so we met up at a film festival, and it was love at first type.. We are getting married in 3 months. And you are all invited! Especially Kim and Ben.” We have to leave tomorrow afternoon though.

Kim was so shocked. You could have taken all her knives away, all 12 of them, and she would have never known it. Matt, Jay, Freddy and Elisabeth looked like they had a stroke and Ben looked sick. Chris had an evil grin on and was laughing his head off while rubbing his hands back and forth. The others rushed to congratulate Sarah and Tom, the real lucky one, and Carol took more pictures, and then hugged everyone.

Everyone got together for a huge game of spoons till you pee. It got down to the two famous singles, Kim, and Chris. Kim won of course, after planting one of her knives in the last spoon. Chris liked his fingers in one piece. Chris drank the cup of water and then had to excuse himself. People started breaking apart and headed out to enjoy the moonlight and the warm, gentle breeze. Finally they were all gone leaving Ben behind. Ben started to clean up but Carol and Klaus popped back in, “Come on Ben, Don’t be an old fart!” Klaus said affably, “You can tag along with us; Scarlett and Matt are with us as well”

Ben noticed Matt’s scowl, and agreed. As they walked outside Klaus linked arms with Carol who linked arms with Ben. Scarlett grabbed Ben’s other arm and Matt, still scowling. They started skipping and soon passed Abi and Peter, and were joking and having a blast. Klaus said something about his belly and a bowl full of jelly when they heard a piercing howl. It was unlike anything any of them had heard before..it was a sound of anger and terror, like a wail torn from an eternally damned banshee..

Carol and Scarlett hugged their special somebodies closer as Carol asked, “What was that?”

“Probably a wolf” Klaus answered as he hugged Carol.

Scarlett and Ben looked at each other and whispered at the same time. “That’s no wolf”

Part 6 Fun and Pain, Aren’t they the same?

The howl dampened the merry spirit of the homeschoolers and in unison they headed back to the hotel, Kim clutching her two biggest knives nervously. There was little chatter on the way back. They went to their rooms and bedded down, even Chad, who seemed to lose his draw to the poker game.

The sun rose too early for most of the late nighters.. shining it’s gentle rays upon two men in a dead sprint towards the hotel. The tall one was in the lead by 10 feet when the short one sprinted and barely beat him to the hotel. Then they started walking around the small city block and the smaller one looked at his Casio G-shock, solar powered baby and remarked it’s 6:25.. no one’s coming I guess.

Tom gasped.. “Gee, you are a fast little bugger. Where were you trained?”

Ben gasped back, “I cut that corner back there, you had me dead to rights.”

Tom slapped Ben on his back. “Ha, it’s not cheating to use available resources! I need to run more.”

“Me too” Ben leaned over in the rag doll

The old wooden hotel doors swung open as Carrie, Charlyn, Chris in suspenders and shorts, Sara wearing the latest Underarmor running outfit with matching water bottle, Sarah, and last but not least… Carol, camera in hand.

“Carol you can’t run and take pictures!” Chris laughed.

“Watch me!!” They started stretching. Well Carol was taking pictures while stretching… some of the shots which nobody should ever need to see or would see. They did some warm ups and cast aside all the gear that was unneeded. Then they set off. Tom had the fast group and Ben had the slow group.

Elisabeth regally looked out her window and watched, as she put it, the rustics in their morning silliness. She was very upset that she been so rudely awakened by Klaus and Carol speaking German in the other room. As Ben’s group faded off into the distance, she heard a knock on the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Frank,” the guy waited, “Oh, I reckon you don’t remember, I’m the hotel manager” She thought maybe Freddy had ordered room service and opened up.. but it wasn’t room service.

The portly man stood there in his faded clothes, his head downturned and twisted his battered hat between his knurled hands. He looked up with a bashful look on his face. “Ma’am, I don’t know how to say this, and please don’t take this wrong or as an affront again ye, but your credit card is overdrawn. I have a living to make and a family. Unless I have some form of payment, you and your brother will have to leave.”

Elisabeth gasped.. “What about this card?” Pulling out her other credit card, the only one she thought wasn’t maxed out; she handed it over.

Frank bobbed his head and headed downstairs. The stairs creaked as he tottered down, putting his hat on. He desperately hoped there was some credit to this card.. but the credit check he had done said that she had a very low score. He put the card in the reader and he sighed as the red letters flashed at him like the lights of a Police cruiser. NOT AUTHORIZED

Frank’s hat was being twisted in nearly about half as he headed back up the rickety old stairs. He made his way to the Beauty’s door. His knurled fist was about to knock on the door when a portly, bespectacled, red suited chap with a red nightcap paused him. “Sir.. Can I have a word with you?”

Frank stepped aside with the fat furry fellow. “This may be a guess but is Miss Elisabeth Starr short on funds, and is in danger of eviction?”

“Yes, She is.. I don’t want to do it, and I know it sounds corny, but I need the money.” Frank’s wrinkled face grew red with embarrassment.

The Santaish figure held up a plump finger. “Whatever it is that they need, any expense at all, put it on my tab.” He put a Visa card with a St. Nick on it in Franks hand. “Not a word to Ms. Starr of course, she’s most insistent about these things, gotta have a sense of dignity and all.”

As Frank went about his other morning activities in the hotel he saw the groups come in from their morning exercise. Most of them were puffing, and blowing, except the 2 buff guys. They looked fresh and as if they had joined the old man in the rocking chair and talked about the weather for the last hour. Frank shook his head as he reached beneath the counter and put on his mayor hat and headed out to check to make sure that all the public services were working.. the one fire hydrant, the one public bathroom, the one water fountain, and the one and only fire truck/police car/ dog catcher vehicle. In a one horse town, one man is the horse. And he carries all the burden. Not much goes wrong in a small town, and when it does, one man can handle it. But what happens when everything goes wrong?

Part 7 When it starts going wrong.

Most people were getting cleaned up for the fun picnic party and/or seeing the local sights and having a general fun time. Chad was pacing the street. He wanted to play so bad.. It was in his blood. And he was good. But he was addicted. He thought back to when he first started to play. It was easy at first.. he won and he won and he could control how much he played.. but then it seemed to get the better of him. He played off and on, trying to control his urges. He got so addicted that he seemed to lose his whole soul. One day.. Sara came and pulled him out of a game.. She helped him recover and they got married. Ever since then he had been not playing.. but the pull was too much. He looked down at the old time Saloon as the doors swung open revealing the beefy guy he bilked of 800 dollars last night. “Beefy” walked over and spat a brown stream between his missing front teeth hitting the

“You going to let us try to get our money back? It’s only fair.” Chad grinned sickly. Now what was he going to do?

“Chad!” Chad turned to see the superman reject come up. “Hey, wanted to ask you if you are game for the hike this afternoon after the picnic?”

“Beefy” spoke up, “Take a hike Kid! This is Business!” Then the guy turned to Chad.. “You playing? Or are you some yellowed, no good, city slicker?”

Chad knew it had gotten worse.. really worse. This guy was nuts. “Ben, would you leave us?”

Ben was no dumb bunny.. and He owed Sara big time anyways. “Hey! You! Lard brain! Did you lose those front teeth naturally or did you try to eat a cue ball?”

Beefy blinked slowly. “Naturally?”

“Yes Dumb bucket, what your mum never taught you how to brush those brown babies?” Ben grinned evilly.. so cruelly.. Sara was right. Ben has an evil grin.

Beefy gasped.. the punk insulted his dear deceased mum! Brown babies! What did he think he was saying? Beefy took a swing at the evilly grinning head and the lights went out.

A poof of dust arose from where beefy laid. All 6 and a half feet of him. Chad blinked owlishly.. It happened so fast! Ben dusted off his hands and looked at Chad. “Dumb bunny swung from the shoulder. Never do that. Over extends yourself and throws your balance off.”

They heard someone clapping. Tom ,standing beside the hotel door, called out, “Well done! You are the hero of the day!”

A scream arose from the hotel, startling Ben, Tom, and Chad.. They quickly turned to see the Halfling running out of the hotel screaming like a banshee. The door swung open again as Cy was chasing her. It’s just a kiss, Come on Ka” His repertoire was cut brutally short as Tom stuck out a leg tripping Cy and sending him sprawling into the dirt.

Cy sprung up. “What’s the Big idea?!?” His face grew red as a beet. His hands curled into fists and a blood vessel started out.

Tom looked apologetic, as he mumbled, “I’m so sorry Eric, I wasn’t paying attention. I just am a klutz. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Cy uncurled his fists and walked back into the hotel as he yelled. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again or else!”

Kayla ran up and hugged Tom. “Thanks sooo much, you are the Hero of the day.” Tom and Ben looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Midgets are sooo emotional . Kayla, fitting in that category, missed what was happening in the big world.

Everyone headed back inside as Ben and Chad dragged Beefy into the saloon. Gee He was heavy. Back inside the hotel, Tom and Kayla walked into the room. Cy and Charlyn were cozy on the end couch. Jared and Peter were shooting pool. “Eh, why are you two so cosy now?”

Kayla quickly stuck out her midget tongue and walked over and hugged her dashing husband. “Cy tried to kiss me and Tom saved me.”

Tom shrugged as Jared first looked at Tom, then at Cy. Cy shifted gingerly as Jared gave him the eye. “It was just a kiss”

Jared cleared his throat, “Cy, kiss my wife again and I will beat you down.”

Cy got up and stomped off in a rage as Charlyn bashfully apologized for Erik’s bad behavior. “He’s been losing customers and clients and it’s been hard for him at work. I’m really sorry Jared and Kayla.”

Kayla went and hugged Charlyn, “I’m sorry, that must be hard.” Kayla handed Charlyn some chocolate as Ben and Chad walked in. Then they heard shouts of anger. They all huddled around a window as angry noises filled the air. Was the whole town going mad?

Part 8 A Bet

Then the noise subsided. It was quite a shock.. the homeschoolers all looked at each other in puzzlement. “is it the Angry Hour for Piccadilly?” Ben quipped.

Jared laughed, “Probably the local tradition. Instead of howling at the moon, they yell at each other.” Chad snickered.

“Hopefully the girls didn’t really hear that.” Kayla said.

Ben , Chad, Jared, and Tom looked at Kayla. “You are a girl Kayla.” All four chimed in.

Kayla was set back temporarily. A shocked look washed over her face as the dismal truth set in. She almost cried as she thought. “They don’t think I’m one of the guys?” Yet she didn’t think that because Jared didn’t think of her as a guy was a very good thing. It’s usually hard for a manly man like J-bob to fall in love with a girl that he thinks is a real ‘ol pal. And Jared is very much in love. Then Jared leaned over and kissed her on her wrinkled forehead. “Ah smooth out those wrinkles Kayla, you are much more lovely than any guy could be.”

The little meeting broke up as they all headed up to their rooms to get ready for the afternoon. Bekah, Carrie, Kim, Matt, and Jay came down the stairs. The girls began to make the picnic dinner as Matt and Jay teased them, made disgusting noises, and pinched the girls. Now if it had been 5 years earlier Matt and Jay would have died slowly by Kim. However, Kim had been saved and therefore was trying to be nice. Carrie was making ham sandwiches, some were chocolate filled, Kim was putting the mayo and mustard on, and Bekah was bagging them. Matt finally cut to the chase and grabbed one of Carrie’s sandwiches and proceeded to eat it in right next to her ear. Jay put his finger about an inch from Kim’s ear.

“I’m not touching you!!!” Jay was having more fun that a dog that was chasing a running pole cat.

Matt was making more noises than a wood chipper that was being fed ironwood. Finally Carrie snapped and palm struck Matt in his solar plexus. Kim immediately grabbed Jays out stretched finger and pushed it up, making him squeal like a stuck pig. Matt doubled over and barfed the stolen sandwich out. Kim forced Jay to his knees as he began blubbering. Kim hollered “I won!!”

“Of course you won, Please let my finger go.” Jay blubbered

“Not you doorknob, I beat Carrie. Now pay up.” Matt gasped for air as Carrie glared at Kim. “Ok, but later, tonight at the dance.”

Carrie sighed, “Fine”

She glared down and the wheezing Matt. Matt got up and walked out. “I need some fresh air”

Jay moaned as Kim put more pressure on. “Please stop”

“Please what?” Jay moaned.. what did she want now?

“Please stop, I shouldn’t have teased you, I was wrong, Please Stop oh your highness!!” The last part was a scream as Jay believed his finger would be ripped off by this killer Kim.

“Ma’am would have worked,” Kim sneered as she let the blubbering baby loose.

Jay left as Abi and Epster walked in. “Girls we have to go soon, these sandwiches are overdue!”

The 5 girls toiled away and got them all packed up and bagged. Bekah pulled Kim and Carrie aside.. “Kim won what?”

Kim laughed as Carrie groaned an answer. “I said I had more self-control than Kim did.. I didn’t, now I have to Kiss Matt tonight at the dance. For 5 seconds!!: