Quiet times 11-20

Often as a Christian I wonder what I'm supposed to do and how it's supposed to work. Proverbs is great for practical knowledge on what to do. Watch your mouth, don't argue with a fool, mind your own business... etc...
BUt in Proverbs 3 it says the whole root of the matter.
v5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
DO I trust God? I know i've talked about this b4, so bear with me if I rehash anything. I can trust him by not questioning him and by obeying. Faith w/o works is dead. Honestly I have money needs. I am going to need about 200 dollars by the end of December. My way is to go withdraw it from a depleted account and just roll with it.. I know that that isn't God's plan, but it's mine.. and it makes sense. I want to lean on my own understanding. It's hard to trust God to guide me with money. Or a wife.. or college.. which I should be studying for now :P It's so easy for me to be wise in my eyes. I can really use prayer to be humbled b4 God, to be honest all the time, in words and actions. That God will give me the opportunity to earn more money, or provide it.

Proverbs 4:20My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. 21Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. 22For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. 23Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. 24Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. 25Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. 26Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. 27Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.
Hold onto the words of life. I have noticed that what I do affects who I am today. What I have read, searched, thought about, really affects what I am doing. It is super important for me to take GOd's word and graft it into my life, to meditate on it, to search out the word. If I watch movies.. I waste my time. If I spend more time on my puter then with God.. I place an idol. I have to be diligent with what I think about and talk about. It is normal for me to have instincts and urges, what the christian thing to do is to hold it back and control them. I was once asked what Lust was. I said it is probably the things you want to do first. It is so important as Christians we don't just live life and let it happen, but that we carefuly run the race and keep with all diligence our witness. I cannot be for GOd and yet going for my thingss and the things I want to do. yet as in ROmans 19
12Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. 13Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. 14Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Often I sin w/o thinking or knowing.. I ask God to show me what I am doing, to give me attentiveness, not only to his word, but also to those around me. It is very easy for me to miss opportunitues to aid others and to offend them by my words or actions. Once again I see that I need to meditate on God's word, I have to feed my soul. It's also so important taht as we try to get closer to God by letting go of our problems.. that we don't follow false doctrines and try to go the atoning route so we can be more spiritual. In galations 2 Paul mentions that there are some people who will try to convince you that more works=more godliness or enough Godliness. We can never do anything of ourselves to please God. He accepts us for opne reason only. Jesus' blood.
anyways.. some stuff I'm thinking that God is showing me..

Today I am grieved, my heart is heavy. I know that God i still on his throne but I weep for our sins as a nation.I know todays proverb talks about the strange woman and how dangerous she is. My room mate said and I agree that Obama is the same way, His wods are smooth but his end is horrible. I am praying for our future president that he will be saved and also that God will protect us, for we need it. Yet I do not want our safety to be more important than our relationship with Him, THis is a wakeup call to get serious with God. Who knows the path we shall take. America may turn to a center of persucution, yet that is what I fear we need to be refined. God wants us to be right with him enough to hurt us. I fear that we are headed for times of persecution and now is the time for us to get right with God and put him first. If we do not.. GOd may have to refine us with the flames of this world. Yet. through out all that is happening, and may happen, God is still on his throne and He still holds us in his hands. His Big hands.. mine are so small.
Psalms 23. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me besides the still waters, He anoionteth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths of tighteousness for his names sake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thy rod and thys staff they comfort me, thou preparest a table for me in the presence of mine eneimies, though anointest my head, my cup ovefloweth. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

6Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: 7Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, 8Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest. 9How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? 10Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: 11So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.
For me it is very hard to be diligent, i want to be a lazy bum, yet I want money.. so go figure. How i can apply this is to make sure that I do not cut any corners at work. I need to make sure I do all that is needed. At home I need to make sure I do all that I'm supposed to do. That's one thing God really wants me to do.

27Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?

28Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?

IT's so important to never ever compromise.. Fire burns and leaves scars. a burn is one of the nastiest wounds you can have. What happens is that fire just transforms what it consume. it's still all there, but in another form. When we compromise we destroy something.. it's forever changed. Once you burn wood you can't regrow it.

I've been trying to dig deeper into the world and I found this!! It's so amazing!!

5For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.

6For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.

7Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?

8This persuasion cometh not of him that calleth you.

9A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.

10I have confidence in you through the Lord, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be.

9And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. honestly I do not want to continue doing what I am doing... I am tired of caring, tired of working at ALERT, tired of all the problems. I want to withdraw, I want to do only my stuff and not invest in people's lives... I really don't enjoy getting torn up inside. I would rather not do it than do it wrong. That's what I want to do. But that is fainting...
The right thing for me to do is to stick it out, to last the day. Part of that means I should still do what I did last night. I also need to stick with ALERT and give it my all. as an encouragement. Never give up on doing right.

Proverbs 8 13The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate. Do I hate Evil? Or do i like to keep it close. I know that when it comes down to it and I can sin.. it's right there, it looks good. That when it is the hardest. I can be as strong as I can when I am at church or sin is along ways away. In Psalms 36 it says the wicked doesn't fear God. That's kinda shocking, unless we hate sin, we are wicked. :( It's not just Fear though, we are to delight ourselves in the Lord. Rest, be content. It's so hard for me to rest in him. I need things, and I would rather fret and worry and try to get them myself than wait for God to open the doors.

In psalms 41 David asks God to forgive him for he has sinned. I have to do that every day. I was asked if I was to rate my obediance on a scale 1-100 what would it be?
I wanted to say 70.. but I knew that it was more like a 30. The thing is that God forgives it all. I just want to seek God as a deer wants water. Is God my only desire? Oh that it may be my sole desire. To find God and to daily be with him.
Psalm 44

1We have heard with our ears, O God, our fathers have told us, what work thou didst in their days, in the times of old.

2How thou didst drive out the heathen with thy hand, and plantedst them; how thou didst afflict the people, and cast them out.

3For they got not the land in possession by their own sword, neither did their own arm save them: but thy right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy countenance, because thou hadst a favour unto them.

4Thou art my King, O God: command deliverances for Jacob.

5Through thee will we push down our enemies: through thy name will we tread them under that rise up against us.

6For I will not trust in my bow, neither shall my sword save me.

7But thou hast saved us from our enemies, and hast put them to shame that hated us.

8In God we boast all the day long, and praise thy name for ever. Selah.

9But thou hast cast off, and put us to shame; and goest not forth with our armies.

10Thou makest us to turn back from the enemy: and they which hate us spoil for themselves.

11Thou hast given us like sheep appointed for meat; and hast scattered us among the heathen.

12Thou sellest thy people for nought, and dost not increase thy wealth by their price.

13Thou makest us a reproach to our neighbours, a scorn and a derision to them that are round about us.

14Thou makest us a byword among the heathen, a shaking of the head among the people.

15My confusion is continually before me, and the shame of my face hath covered me,

16For the voice of him that reproacheth and blasphemeth; by reason of the enemy and avenger.

17All this is come upon us; yet have we not forgotten thee, neither have we dealt falsely in thy covenant.

18Our heart is not turned back, neither have our steps declined from thy way;

19Though thou hast sore broken us in the place of dragons, and covered us with the shadow of death.

20If we have forgotten the name of our God, or stretched out our hands to a strange god;

21Shall not God search this out? for he knoweth the secrets of the heart.

22Yea, for thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are counted as sheep for the slaughter.

23Awake, why sleepest thou, O Lord? arise, cast us not off for ever.

24Wherefore hidest thou thy face, and forgettest our affliction and our oppression?

25For our soul is bowed down to the dust: our belly cleaveth unto the earth.

26Arise for our help, and redeem us for thy mercies' sake.

As with the author that wrote this psalm, why has God forsaken us? why has he let our enemies spoil us? because we first rejected him and turned our back on him. Once I turn back to him and refocus on him, then will I see God. And only then will I see Jesus. My prayer is that you will each find him too.

First off, I went to the sunday school party last night. It was fun, we ate food, then we played games. it was pretty cool. I ate the dirt once.. and I got tagged by a girl. in my defense I was standing still. Aaron had to get pushed out because he got the truck stuck. hehehe. We were the fastest people out there.. it was pretty cool. then we gathered around the campfire and I heard some interesting stuff. God is really working in people. I hurt so much for some of my friends. One young lady, her husband passed away a year ago. Another one is dealing with a court case over when she was raped. and yet another one shared her testimony about how she ended up pregnant and it was a very sad story.

In psalms 41 David asks God to forgive him for he has sinned. I have to do that every day. I was asked if I was to rate my obediance on a scale 1-100 what would it be?
I wanted to say 70.. but I knew that it was more like a 30. The thing is that God forgives it all. I just want to seek God as a deer wants water. Is God my only desire? Oh that it may be my sole desire. To find God and to daily be with him.
Psalm 44

1We have heard with our ears, O God, our fathers have told us, what work thou didst in their days, in the times of old.

2How thou didst drive out the heathen with thy hand, and plantedst them; how thou didst afflict the people, and cast them out.

3For they got not the land in possession by their own sword, neither did their own arm save them: but thy right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy countenance, because thou hadst a favour unto them.

4Thou art my King, O God: command deliverances for Jacob.

5Through thee will we push down our enemies: through thy name will we tread them under that rise up against us.

6For I will not trust in my bow, neither shall my sword save me.

7But thou hast saved us from our enemies, and hast put them to shame that hated us.

8In God we boast all the day long, and praise thy name for ever. Selah.

9But thou hast cast off, and put us to shame; and goest not forth with our armies.

10Thou makest us to turn back from the enemy: and they which hate us spoil for themselves.

11Thou hast given us like sheep appointed for meat; and hast scattered us among the heathen.

12Thou sellest thy people for nought, and dost not increase thy wealth by their price.

13Thou makest us a reproach to our neighbours, a scorn and a derision to them that are round about us.

14Thou makest us a byword among the heathen, a shaking of the head among the people.

15My confusion is continually before me, and the shame of my face hath covered me,

16For the voice of him that reproacheth and blasphemeth; by reason of the enemy and avenger.

17All this is come upon us; yet have we not forgotten thee, neither have we dealt falsely in thy covenant.

18Our heart is not turned back, neither have our steps declined from thy way;

19Though thou hast sore broken us in the place of dragons, and covered us with the shadow of death.

20If we have forgotten the name of our God, or stretched out our hands to a strange god;

21Shall not God search this out? for he knoweth the secrets of the heart.

22Yea, for thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are counted as sheep for the slaughter.

23Awake, why sleepest thou, O Lord? arise, cast us not off for ever.

24Wherefore hidest thou thy face, and forgettest our affliction and our oppression?

25For our soul is bowed down to the dust: our belly cleaveth unto the earth.

26Arise for our help, and redeem us for thy mercies' sake.

As with the author that wrote this psalm, why has God forsaken us? why has he let our enemies spoil us? because we first rejected him and turned our back on him. Once I turn back to him and refocus on him, then will I see God. And only then will I see Jesus. My prayer is that you will each find him too.

It seems that more and more I have to pour out my heart to God. I'd rather share it with y'all, but that's not what friends are for.. more and more I see that God is here, even when I don't feel it. Megan, said that I have alot of drama in my life... that's kinda true. It's easy to lose focus on God. One thing I find is a big key is how much actual time do I spend in his Word, and in prayer. What do I like to do? What do I do more? What does God want me to do? Too often I take good things over the best things. Choose the diamonds... not the nickels.
On the other side of the coin.. be happy with what you have.. I complained about my pt test and how slow and fat I am.. still I did well. It's too easy to become petty and small minded and focus on what we don't have rather than what we do have. Even though I am a poor college student I have more stuff and more provisions than many starving families in other places of the world. With the more blessings I have, the more shall I be called to account.

Also, God is so amazing, too often I have just put him in the niche of, God.. a distant entity who doesn't seem to care too much and only helps me when I'm in mortal danger.He isn't.. He is here. He does Care, and let us worship him for he is terrible.
It seems that I am seeing so much right now. I know that's only because in my valey I turned to God rather than to my usual stuff.

Proverbs 16

1The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD.

2All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the LORD weigheth the spirits.

3Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

4The LORD hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.

5Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.

6By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.

7When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.

8Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right.

9A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

10A divine sentence is in the lips of the king: his mouth transgresseth not in judgment.

11A just weight and balance are the LORD's: all the weights of the bag are his work.

12It is an abomination to kings to commit wickedness: for the throne is established by righteousness.

13Righteous lips are the delight of kings; and they love him that speaketh right.

14The wrath of a king is as messengers of death: but a wise man will pacify it.

15In the light of the king's countenance is life; and his favour is as a cloud of the latter rain.

16How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!

17The highway of the upright is to depart from evil: he that keepeth his way preserveth his soul.

18Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

19Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.

20He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.

21The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning.

22Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it: but the instruction of fools is folly.

23The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.

24Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

25There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

26He that laboureth laboureth for himself; for his mouth craveth it of him.

27An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire.

28A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

29A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good.

30He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass.

31The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.

32He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

33The lot is cast into the lap; but the whole disposing thereof is of the LORD.

At times it is so hard to focus on God. My sins seems to dwarf me. It only takes 10 minutes of weakness and it seems that once again I am trapped. The thing is that God knows that I am weak, yet God is strong. I have heard "Failure is not in the falling, it's in the not getting back up on your feet."

I know in my head that God forgives me and is picking me up off my feet, yet as Casting Crowns says.. I feel that I am just one step away from you leaving me this way... Jesus just show me how far the east is from the west..

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other
Psalm 77

1I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.

2In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.

3I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.

4Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

5I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.

6I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.

7Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?

8Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?

9Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah.
Every time I turn to God I find forgiveness and Mercy.. I just feel that I am not worthy to enter His Holy righteous presence covered in the blackness of my sin. I have never felt worthy to meet God. in Isaiah
Isaiah 6

1In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.

2Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly.

3And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

4And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke.

5Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

6Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar:

7And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.

8Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.

Oh goodness.. I see my sin in the presence of God. he is truly Holy and awe worthy. All I can do is join Isaiah and scream woe is me!!! I am unworthy for I have unclean lips. I am undone.. I have seen God and I know that I am a wretch. Isaiah had to be purged with a flaming coal on his lips. I would go through all that pain and scarring to have a pure heart and clean lips. then i can say Lord.. Here am I send me!! I want to serve God.. I know that Jesus has purified me and I am washed from my sins, yet I don't feel that way. I guess that is where faith plays in. Trusting that God forgives me despite my sin... It's not logical at all. That's what is so amazing about it too. God forgives us anyways. But let us come boldly into the throne of grace for repentance and mercy, we are able to see the most Holy God in our most carnal bodies.

I hope that encourages you all that no matter how far we fall. he will pick us up.

God bless